iss me because I had cheesy lips. (; lmao

Kpce.

"Remembering Sunday he falls to his knees." <|3

Feeling like crap. & btw - nothing interesting has happened except the fact that george didn't wanna k

So I'm sitting here thinking why you let me go; I can't even think of a reason. Why?

I miss you & love you, forever. <3

la that song depresses me; nothings the same anymore ! Ughhh fml. * byeeeee

's okay.
Second chances they don't ever matter; people never change. <3
I would love to talk to you in person but I understand why that can't be. Lala

So this isn't cool ? Haha blogging from my phone. I am so amazed. :D
I just don't know how long it could be . . . & I also can't post a title, but that

Checking if this works. (:

12:12

Can't sleep. Texting.

"what's the point of having it all without the one you love?".


I'll just end it there. Don't feel in the mood to tell you my life story.



Bye

>=o !

eff school !!

so today;

I found the exact thing i was dreading.

was not my day.

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget. <|3

<|3

"Heaven knows I had never wanted to use him, but I couldn't help but interpret the guilt I felt now to mean that I had. Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to beak you. I'd been broken beyond repair. But I need him now, needed him like a drug. I'd used him as a crutch for too long, and I was in deeper than I's planned to go with anyone again. Now I couldn't bear for him to be hurt, and I couldn't keep from hurting him, either. He thought time and patience would change me, and, though I knew he was dead wrong, he'd still try. He was my bbestfriend. I would always love him, and it would never, ever be enough."


<|3 wish you'd understand.

Why you so obsessed with me? ♥

Yesterday was 1O/17 . exactly one year ago yesterday ; my life was perfect.
It's so weird. yesterday felt like a new beginning. Kind of ironic with the date and such. After that whole depressing note & everything, I went to sleep & woke up in the morning and was alright. not happy - but alright. i went with my mommy to some doctor because i'm a good girl & felt bad because she was going alone then after all that crap went home and it was only like 113O -_- so then at like 12 ; i was like "dad - i need an outfit for tonight." & he's all oh you got money and i'm like yeah, my BROTHER gave me money even though he don't got money like you and blah blah blah (trying to be slick. btw; didn't work. -_-) then he took me and i got this outfit, i really didn't like it, but by the end of the night, i thought it was so cute. (: blah whatever; at like 4 i went to yessy's & whatever we watched tv & blah blah blah. then i started straightening her hair & she thought i was never going to finish because he plancha doesn't work too well so i had to blow dry it. but come on, seriously? I'm a miracle worker. it came out so straight and pretty. then i did her makeup and she looked soo pretty (: then she got dressed but i didn't feel like it so whatever. at like 65O i started getting dressed and realized how big my butt looked in that damn dress! lmao ; i was like fml. we got there around 73O & went to the bathroom because it was still pretty early. took some pictures (phone cameras = ew.) -->




then after that one of yessy's friend's (frank) got there & he is one funny nigg ! omg, he was soo funny ; he swore we were stalking him & he was mad funny. him & his dance. so then the music started getting good so me & yessy were dancing and frank was there too ; and he had the hottest friend! omfggg ; i've never seen someone so sexy in my life ! so whatever ; he smiled at me and i said hey. lol so, whatever; we kept dancing and like he was really hott so then he was like behind me and yessy once so i turned around pretending like i was about to go grind on him, 'course; i was just kidding. so i went back & yessy's like NO ! and she pushed me. and then i was like looking at yessy and i was like stop! and then she told me to turn around, so i was like wtf; so i did & he's like, hi i'm mike - wanna dance? and i'm like kay suree. i turn around to yessy and i was like i'm gonnna kill youu. so whatever we dance like a mean ass mix that was never ending and then it finished i'm like yeah ; kay - i gotta peee. so i find yessy and she was mad soupedd ! & i'm like omg, it's not that serious ! so blah; we go back and keep dancing & he comes back and we dance again, and then i swear mad guys staring at me while i'm dancing, kind of ruined the mood. i didn't think it was that serious & blah . then whatever ; it started to get wack because they put all the white people music, but it was still funn. i danced my ass off ; & then we had to leave. got to yessy's & my dad was already on his way, then i got home. i was sooo exhausted ; i saw degrassi then knockedd outtt. btw ! for all those people who read this & think something else happened that night ; NOTHING happened. (:

this morning ; my phone rings, and i thought it was someone who always texts me madddd early so i was like it should be around 8, i'm not even gonna check so i went back to sleep. i wake up thinking it's like 93O - 1O the latest, and it's like 113O and i was like whooaaa latest i've slept in a long ass time. turns out it was jay that had texted me around 103O and so we talked and we ended up going to the mall. i got a hoodie and some flats then we went to her grandmas house. thats when i realized how exhausted i was; like omg. they brought me home around 5 and then i went to my tias house for a little. my cousin was like damn you look sooo tired & was like i'm exhausteddd. so then i leave and get home play a little ps3 take a shower & now i'm here. it's like 9 & i'm gonna end up going to sleep around like 93O. i'm sooo tired !

so now part i've been kind of dreading to write. . .
i think i am slipping away. & it won't happen any time soon. & you might think you can mend & fix everything; but in reality - you can't. i don't know ; it's hard because i know how you are & i know how i am & that just doesn't mix. & it's not that i don't care. i'm just tired of always stressing myself out over something that is possibly not going to happen. it's happened to me enough & i'm starting to not being able to deal with this stress. really; i'm too young for it & it shouldn't be like this. i should be enjoying myself & having fun - the same exact thing you should be doing too. & i feel as if you aren't because of me & i hate holding people back.

*como inventarme sentimientos que no han nacido y que le digo al corazon? ♥


kpce. x3

fml!

so today, i wrote the most depressing note ever. it was mad sad. like omg, i've never written anything more depressing. i'm mad depressed with my life !

fml; i hate this world.

nothing is going right ! & i don't have an outfit for tomorrow.






byeeeeeee

Think of you later in my empty room. <3

I think I just made the stupidest mistake of my freaking life. You were the only one that actually stayed knowing everything. The one that fought for me. The one that would do anything. The only one. & now I'm probably too late. I'm so stupid. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to put you through it again, I just can't do it anymore. This is too much for me. I'm going to cry.





I think I need you more than I want to need anyone. <|3

tell me something sweet to get me by. ♥

I don't think I'm ever going to feel better about any of this. I wish I could turn back time and just forget all of this and just keep going. I hate it, and I hate myself. I'm mad, sad, confused, anything you can think of. My mind won't shutup for just a few minutes! It's exhausting, I can't keep going like this. It's so frustrating! I don't even understand how you're dealing with it. & now I feel like you're becoming depressed because of me! Wtf, everyone's always blaming their depression on me. Jeez, I told you how I was, & now you're like all depressed because I don't want to chill with you. Wtf, hop off, you're not my boyfriend. You're not anything to me. You're getting way to clingy for no damn reason. You mean like close to nothing to me. & the way you're always telling me what to do! God, it's sooooo annoying! I don't know how to tell you, I just don't know what to do. I feel bad because you look like the type that'd stop talking to me; just like everyone else. =/ I've just been feeling so down lately. Everything is so confusing.

Whatever, Friday night & I'm taking it down soon. I have no reason anymore.


Kpce.

Ugh.

I'm so behind on homework. =/

anyways; i just read your blog & thanks. really. it doesnt change the fact that what i did was wrong, but really thanks. & you're not the only one, i can't focus either & it's been about a week. things haven't changed. i don't feel better about myself. i actually feel worse. but thanks for forgiving me, i will love you forever too. you still mean the world to me. & i really hope everything goes back to the way it used to & we're still as cool as we were. ♥

I feel horrible on how this ended. i really didn't want it to be that way. i hope you read this & you probably wont. Honestly, it hit me harder than it should've. i thought it'd be better for you & i'd be okay. but no, i mean i will be okay & as long as you're better off, i'm fine. it just hit me hard, & i miss you. but i can't change it. I can't be selfish & just do what i want to do. you need to have some sort of decision on what you want to do. i know you don't want to do it, but you have to. i understand completely; i don't want to hurt you.

i don't know what to do with my life. i think i should just give up on boys & just focus on school. this puts way to much pressure on me.

kpce.

<|3

fml !

I just realized summer's over ! I'm mad sad. =/

For you I will. ♥

let's see; since monday my world has been FUADSKGJHUIEAIAG

tuesday was like perfect; until later that night. After school was too funny. I got lectured by my mom because of Smitty & it was tooo funny. whatever it was good. then my dumbass of course.

i feel horrible though becuase it's all my fault. i don't understand why i put people through this ? they really don't deserve it. especially you guys. i don't even feel like anything because i feel so guilty about it. it wasn't how it seemed, but still i should've addressed it before it got worse. ugh ! i feel horrible =/ i don't deserve a second chance or anything. & if you you knew the rest of it. . .

i can't !


blah ! today; i didn't go to school. i didn't feel like it so i told mami i was too tired. she complained, but let me stay. lol now it's 11O & i'm mad bored, but its okay because i deff. did not want to go to school. blahblahblah.

i hate myself. i'm so sorry. =/