i miss you.

i'm writing bc i really need to vent. i've been missing you a lot lately, tons. and i hate it. i hate missing you, i hate having to think about you i hate that i can't do anything without it somehow reminding me of you. you're doing you, and i'm doing me, but idk, lately i've really been missing the "us" i don't need anyone to be happy, but i really do miss you and i really do wish you were around. it sucks that no matter what we've been through, i still imagine my future with you. a part of me says that you do too, but another part of me wonders what if you don't? what if i'm waiting for something that's never going to happen? i don't know. its frustrating. i wasn't feeling like this until recently. "i'm really gonna miss you picking fights & me falling for it, screaming that i'm right." guess i've just been feeling some type of way, and this is just my way of venting.

Take me with you..

I'd give my all to have just one more night with you. I'd risk my life to feel your body next to mine. 'cause I can't go on living in the memory of our song..

Where do I start? I miss you. So much. And I have to stop lying to myself pretending that I don't. Bc I know damn well that my life isn't the same without you. And I'm not sure if I like the way my life is without you. You make me a better person. Nobody will ever make me wanna better myself like you do. When I'm around you, my heart grows. When I'm without you, I don't care about anything. I don't wanna be that person. I literally just don't see the purpose to anything. And I know it sounds crazy, but maybe that's why I can't let you go. I can go on with my life and do whatever it is I have to do, but there's just no getting over you. I hate admitting this. I hate showing my weak side, but I just can't hold it anymore. And the thoughts that go through my mind when I think about you drive me insane. So, idk if you're gonna read this or not, but either way, I don't really know why I wrote this. I guess it's just the fact that I need to get it out. & this is just the only way I can do it. So yeah, I miss you & I hope all is well with you. I hope you're taking care of yourself and I just really hope you don't forget about me, bc I'll never forget about you.

I'm done for now.

if its true, you can see it with your eyes, even in the dark

what can i say? its just crazy, real crazy...

heres to everything, coming down to nothing.
heres to silence, that cuts me to the core.

i really wish i had something to say, i really do..
like i know i initiated the whole thing, but i really didn't think that you would let it happen.. i thought i knew you better, i thought we'd work things out, but things happen for a reason and i don't know what the reason is, but hopefully it's a good reason. at this point, i don't know how to feel. all i wanna do is be with you, but i just feel like it just isn't our time right now. i wish it was, i wish nothing more than the world that it would work out between us, and it sucks that it can't happen, but i just don't know what else to do..

its becoming something that's impossible to ignore, & i can't take it..

i'm not gonna sit here & pretend it doesn't hurt, but i'm also not gonna sit here and cry all the time.. you let me go, so it's time for me to go. although i'll never leave. none of this even makes sense.. i just can't.

it just sucks. it really does.

9O2O8♥

some people want diamond rings, some just want everything, but everything means nothing if i ain't got you. <3

2yrs8mnths & still strong ♥

i guess it's been a while but things are better than ever right now.
did i ever tell you how much i love you?
i love you more than words can describe, more than anything i know how to explain.

you leave me breathless, you're everything good in my life. <3

you're the one. i know you are. i know it in my heart. you're everything i've ever wanted and you're all mine.

i know we've a rough week, but my baby is back.
my baby is back, the man i fell in love with since day 1.

what would i do without you?
you make me better; you bring out the best in me.

I really don't even know how to explain the way i feel for you, there really is no explanation.
you're the one. period. no if ands or but's.

you know you're the one where we could do absolutely nothing and stay home, and still have a perfect day. <3

love is...
me & you. :-*

forever & ever babe ♥

my boyfriend/husband/bestfriend
my one & only.

i know i kept this one short, but i'm tired. lol

iloveyou<3

A Day to Remember

Siiiiiiigh*

What can I even say about today, other than amazing?

There's really no other words to explain the way I'm feeling right now.
Its just like a sense of completeness.
I was happy before, but now everythings just where I want them to be. Perfect.

Even though I'm sick & you're mean :p
Today was perfect.
I can't even begin to explain how much today meant to me.
Like it's the start of everything.

We're perfect ;)
No, but seriously, this is insane.
Like everything we've always wanted, now we have it.

Today was a fairytale<3

I really don't even know how to explain how happy I am.
Like, nothing can ruin this day.

I can't even think straight.
Got my goodnight kiss tonight<3

I. T. A. L. Y
I'll truly always love you<3

we belong together, and you know that I'm right.

lalalalalaaaaa :D
can't stop smiling.
most amazing feeling in this world<3

I havent wrote to you in a long time, well since valentines day
but everything has been pretty good since then.

then today i get the most amazing news<3

& saturday is going to be such a memorable day, i can't wait.
i know its probably going to be awkward and nerve wrecking, but still one step forward.

i knew everything was going to be okay, and i told you it would happen.
i told you :)

if everything goes good this weekend, then everything is going to be so perfect<3
like, i just can't wait, i know everything is going to be perfect.

i love you<3

you make me soooo mad sometimes, but then you make me soo happy all the time.
it doesn't make any sense, but i understand myself.
no matter what happens, youre the only one there<3
all the time. :)

even though you piss me off -_-
i love you and will continue to do so, forever<3

like, im soo all over the place, i dont even know what to do with myself
like, im happy, nervous.
i keep smiling, im like really cheesy :D

& you keep asking me why, like seriously its obvious.

anyways! ahhhh, i don't know, i'm just so happy :D
I just wanna hug you :D

anyways; i don't know what to write, i'm all over the place.

I love you♥
90208<3

meet me halfway ?

x/3

If I am really a part of your dream, you'll come back one day. . . ♥


I've been staring at this screen for quite some time now . . . but I'm so speechless. 
Speechless, hurt, tired, angry, but mostly disappointed. I haven't stopped shaking, or having that heart breaking feeling. It's like I can literally feel my heart breaking . . . How is a person supposed to heal from this? How is a person supposed to feel after this? I have this nasty empty feeling, this feeling that nothing can fill. This feeling of constantly being afraid, afraid of what's going to happen next. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I have no idea. 


What hurts the most though, is the fact that you aren't trying. I know for a fact that if I were to walk out of your life right now, you wouldn't chase after me & that makes me wonder what I really mean to you. 


Don't lose someone you love over your pride. 


I've learned a lot though, and no matter what happens from here; thank you. You taught me a lot & I'm sure you'll continue teaching me. 


I'm confused, tell me; where did I go wrong? 


"You had to change up the game.
The weather is not the same.
Now there's only cloudy days."


Why do we hurt each other? 
Why do we push love away? 


When I'm gone just carry on don't mourn, rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. 
Just know that I'm looking down at you smiling & I didn't feel a thing. So baby, don't feel my pain. Just smile back. 


I'm literally shaking, so hard. But, I'm not going to cry. I told myself I wouldn't, and so far I've been doing a pretty good job. 
So, I'm going to keep it that way. 
Over & over I tried, & over & over I cried. . . 
But I won't do it anymore.


You love me like you say you do, then take it upon yourself to keep me.