I don't feel welcome anymore

Baby what happened please tell me 'cause one second it was perfect now....

I'm going to bed. I'm at a loss for words.

i cant deny how much i love you

I can't be any happier, I swear <3

Amazing day today<3

Mall w/ babe :)
& meeting my mother LOL
"Babe, stop talking soo much!!" Lmao, I caaant!

Now I'm waiting for babe so we can shower
Lalaaaa, I'm tiredddddddd *yawn

Can I hit it in the morning, the sun rising while you moaning.

I'm really tired. -_-


Now I'm in bed talking to babe & I know ima fall asleep soon, soo gooodnight (:

Btw; our hearts look so cute! & our pictures! :D

-iloveyou<3

I can't let you go

I just got out the shower & I'm bored.

Babys working & he's busy so I'm like trying to find something to do.
I was doing homework, then I finished.
I read for a while, but then I got bored.
Now I just showered & I'm sitting on my bed in a towel thinking of what to do next.

I told you babe, I don't talk to anyone else, so I'm just waiting for you.
All the time <3

So now, I'm sitting here writing waiting for you to get unbusy, so you can talk to me (:

My world revolves around you, it's so hard for me to breathe <3

I swear, I've eaten the most skittles the past few days & my brother ate like more than half the bag. It's like never ending!

I need to get dressed, I'm cold.

Babe! I miss you.
I hate when you're busy at work.
I know you're working.
But I'm selfish & impatient.
I just want you for me.

Blahblahblah! I need a life!
Okay, I'm gonna get dressed now. . .

I'm dressed (:
What to write about....

You're gonna love me tonight (:
I'm writing just for you
It's gonna be nice & long because I'm awake & have nothing better to do while I wait for you.

I think I wanna color
I sound like a baby, but I really wanna color.

I really like what you've done to me I can't really explain it; I'm so into you<3

I'm going next door to do claras hair, but I'll be back (:

I'm back (: like an hour later, but I'm back. & you're still working -_-

Baby, you deserve the world & that's what I'm going to give you.
I'm gonna do whatever it takes to keep us both happy, I promise you baby.
You mean so much to me, I don't even know how to explain.
All I want is you<3

I can't wait till Christmas.
I feel like it's going to be the most amazing Christmas ever.
& new years<3
What's better than getting that first kiss once it hits 12?
Nothing, I can't wait.
It's gonna be amazing.
Gonna be the best holiday <3

I'm gonna keep writing to you, because you're still at work.
& you know I'm better at writing, then speaking, so this is how I'll express myself to you (:

It's crazy because I don't even know how to explain how I feel.
Not in writing, or in speaking.
But I promise you that I'll show you.
I promise you I'll show you what it feels like to have someone love you forever because that's exactly what I'm going to do.
I promise you I'm going to make all of our dreams come true baby.
I promise <3
Matter fact, I PINKY promise<3

There's no one above you, I love you<3

I will never, ever get tired of telling you that, I swear.

& I just can't think of anything else I'd rather do then to hear you say, say my name the way you do baby when we do our thing. My sexy love <3
Keep me sprung, keep me running back to you. Oh, I love making love to you. See baby boy you know you're my sexy love<3

Baby one thing is certain
Whatever you do it's working
All the guys don't matter
In your presence can't do what you do
There's a million guys around but I don't see no one but you <3
boy, you're so one in a million
You are<3
baby you're the best I ever had
& I'm certain that
There ain't nothing better
No, there ain't nothing better than this<3
All that I can think about is what this thing could be
A future baby
Baby you're one of a kind
That means you're the only one for me
You're so one in a million<3

What would I do w/ out you?
Like, seriously.
You're amazing<3

I love you beyond the reason why.

Lalalaaaaaa I'm so impatient!
I want you to get outta work already.
I want you all to myself!
Just me, forever.
I'm greedy

You can say I'm trippin' but I'm stingy & I can't hide it.
Wanna keep you all to me I'm selfish, why try to fight it?
You're the only one, w/ the only love that's strong enough to claim me
So please forgive me I'm just stingy, but how can you blame me<3

never been the one to cling & I don't like to be needed, but now I guess that's all changed <3

You made me believe in love baby.
You made me see that someone could love me, unconditionally.
You made me who I am now.

Baby you've seen me grow up pretty much
You've been there for everything
& you will continue being there.
I know you will.

Nothing turns me on more than being with you baby (;

Okay, I'm done for now (:

I looooovee you !

Love,
You're future wife<3

quien te ama como yo?

So sad all my writing just go erased :(
Time to restart ....

(: it's been a few days.
I didn't even finish about my thanksgiving ah.

It's been quite an amazing week though :)

Let's see, my thanksgiving was amazing :)
My mom spoke to babes *awkward, but okay :)
Friday, Jay stayed over & babe bought me skittles
& got me a rose<3
Babys the best I swear.
You're so cute (:

Saturday was a freaking mission.
You pissed me off because you were being so damn complicated for no reason -_-
But whatever.
We went mini golfing. & idc what anyone says, I beat you. :D
You suck, I win. :)

We went to sonics after & you got a nasty sunscreen tasting slushie that I drank anyway. Lol

I had a great day on Saturday.
Baby you're crazy.
I'm crazy.
We're crazy. Omg.

Now I was writing about how I was playing paper toss & remembering my freshmen year. How we would play paper toss in my art class & you would walk me to english all sweaty & nasty. & then you would walk me home. Always taking the long way. Having some really good times & some blah times. When we were mad at each other I would always pick at leaves. But when we were good we'd fight to step on the crunchy leaves <3

Everything was soo different back thing. I don't think we both realized how long this would last. How serious this relationship would become. But now we're both serious about each other & we both know how much we need each other. you're the first guy ever that my family knows you're my boyfriend. Not just a little friend or anything, my BOYFRIEND <3 my one & only. One day they'll know how much you mean to me & how much I really mean to you. One day they'll understand. But until then, let's prove them wrong baby. Let's prove everyone wrong. Let's show them that we can make it. We will make it, I promise you baby <3

Now you're showering & stuff & although this post isn't as good as the one that got deleted, its okay.

You're freaking amazing baby & I will never get tired of telling you that.

I love you, forever
90208 <3

Thanksgiving (:

I had the besttt thanksgiving ever (:

Spent it with the people I love the most<3

& best of all, spent it w/ babe <3
couldn't have been any better.

I know I told you I'd write, but I'm soooo tired.

I'll finish in the morning.

I love you husband <3.

I love you

& all of the things that you do

I told you I was gonna write to you tonight, so here I am. (:

I'm on my iPod, so it's kind of annoying, but anything for you baby.

So, I'm home. In bed cuddling w/ scooby waiting for daddy to get out of work & home so he could call us until we fall asleep. So in the meantime, we'll be writing. You have no idea that I'm writing this, but I'll tell you before you go to bed so you can read it (:

I was angry today. & you know why. It just gets me so mad how I can't see you. You have no idea how upsetting it is. All I want to do is spend my time w/ you & I'm sorry I can't always make that possible. I know it isn't entirely my fault, I still feel really guilty & I know you always tell me not to; idk I still do. I don't know how to explain why I feel so guilty when o know it's not my fault but then again it is all my fault. Ah, idk.

We went to the city yesterday.
Why are you so cute?
It was fun & I love you.
& then we had a little fight, but not anything we can't handle.
I'm glad we did though, if it wasn't for that we wouldve never had the talk we did.
I think we both needed it.
Both needed to let it all out & that's exactly what we did
Even though we froze it was worth it.
It definitely brought us a lot closer together, I feel it.
I loved being wrapped around you like that. Just talking. Just letting it all out. Absolutely loved it <3
& baby you're crazy. If it wasn't for those circumstances I wouldve left w/ you & had the best night of my life. One day baby, one day.

"I can't forget your kiss, the venom on your lips"

Baby you need to get out of work :(
I miss you baby
I miss you tons <3

I just wanna spend everyday with you
I wanna wake up & see your beautiful face first thing every morning
Fall asleep every night you holding me the way I like it.
Your arms around me w/ my back on your chest.

I love you soooo much.
You really don't know baby.

I'm beat & I'll admit it again.
I don't care what anyone thinks.
This is OUR relationship, & ours only.

Our first kiss <3
Tuesday, August 26, 2008 <3
all because of some chapstick
What wouldve happened w/ out that chapstick ?
First time you asked me out<3
Tuesday, September 2, 2008<3
in my backyard straight out of band.
9:12pm
Remember that day like it was yesterday
First time I cut dance for you<3
Monday, April 26, 2010
Best day, I swear.
I remember that day so well.
Everything I ever wanted.
Pinky promise<3
"two years & you're mine"
Never, ever forget those words
First time<3
Friday, May 7, 2010
Unforgettable day; there's no need to explain why that day is so special.
First time we saw each other after about a month.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 & Wednesday, August 25, 2010<3
After such a long time, coming back together.
Two AMAZING days<3

There's many, many more but I'll leave it at that.
You're almost out of work & I'm getting sleepy.

iloveyou husband<3
JnC 90208

love is . . .

Forever ‎​♡

Babe is eating & showering while I'm here in bed all lonely :(
I wish you were here, cuddling w/ me and whispering in my ear & just holding me.
I miss you already.
BUT, I got to see you today<3

Wasn't for long, but its okay; you love me ‎​♡
Even w/ my "booogies" :p
I loooove you ‎​♡

I'm sleeeeeepy!
But I promised I'd stay up for you
Even though I told you to hurry up, I know its gonna take forever
Time always goes by so slow when you're not talking to me.

Babe! I'm so sad :(
My brother just got home -_-
What a waste of space.
I'm mad now

But; its okay, we'll get through it.
I'm so sleepy; I miss you.
I love you, have I told you that?
Of course I have, I can't seem to tell you enough.
I don't want you to ever forget, ever, so that's why I always tell you.

Baby, I loooove making you crazy
Loveee it; & it better be only me.
ONLY me, forever.
I don't care what happens, I don't care about anything;
You're MINE ‎​♡
All MINE every part of you.

You're out the shower & stuff now; so I'll stop this here.


I love my husband ‎​♡ 90208

babe:

my baby<3

i don't know why, but i feel like writing to you today.
i don't know if i should tell you, or just let you read it on your own, idk but we'll see.

anyways; where to begin w/ you?

i know i've told you this a million times, but one more time won't hurt.
i love you ♥ 
& i know it's hard, and i know it sucks, and i know we have our amazing ups and out terrible downs,
but it's all going to be worth it, i promise you.

it's like i have soo much to say, so much to tell you, but when it comes to putting it into words,
i can't explain.
you leave me speechless ♥

you have no idea how much i miss you when youre gone.
you have no idea how much youre on my mind.
you have no idea how much you really mean to me.
you have no idea how much youre the only person i need in this world.

yeah, i'm beat; i'll admit it
but, i don't care that i am.
i have what i want & thats you baby
& as long as you want me too, i'll be by your side.

if you want me to stay, i'll never leave♥

i'm writing this to you, because youre at work & youre kind of busy and since youre the only person i talk to (promise♥) i'll write this to you.

i know when we have are arguments and fights, they can get bad; you & i both know that.
but we always pull through because i can't let you go, and i know you can't either.
i love how much i know you & how much you know me.
i love how comfortable i am around you, and how comfortable you are around me.
i love how no matter what happens, and no matter all the b/s we have to go through, youre still the only one right by my side.

i know everythings not perfect between us, but nothing is perfect.
& i'd rather have bad days w/ you then happy days w/ anyone else.

no matter what we go through, i know it's just gonna make us stronger
& i know we're gonna make it.
i know it from the bottom of my heart.

i'm really tired & my eyes are closing so i'll stop this now, but just so you know; i could keep going forever♥

i love you my little turtle head husband♥
JnC♥9O2O8

 

Perdone por la mala occasion.

I'm like really upset today.
I don't really have a legit reason.
But I'm really not in the mood.
This close to a breakdown.
Like really bad.

I talked to Katherine today.
Made everything so real.
I miss my girls already :/
I took it for granted, I really did.
& idk if I would call it regret, but if I could change it, I would.

I don't know what you want from me anymore.
Like it feels like everything I do isn't good enough. Ever.
Like I'm sorry I'm in a bad mood, but I'm not gonna fake a smile in front of you.
You of all people should know how to cheer me up.
It doesn't even take any effort.
Maybe I'm just asking for too much.
Whatever. I don't even know what to do anymore.

Yep, I knew I was gonna cry.
I guess I'm done for now.
There's nothing left.

-kpce

The frustration

Wow. So much hard work. Down the drain.
Idk whAt to do.
I'm going crazy. Like legit.

This is gonna suck sooooo much. For some reAson it feels way worse than before.

Idk. I'm trying So hard to stay strong. So hard. You don't even know. But I think I'm cracking. I'm gonna loss it.

I miss you Already.
Idk what I'm gonna do. I really don't.
& idk what happened to you but you're not tAlking to me. Idk. I don't even wanna write.

I'm probably gonna cry myself to sleep tonight.

Kpce

youre one in a million

2 years today<3
One day closer to forever.

I'm kind of upset though,
I have reallly bad cramps,
I'm all sick & cranky
& I can't even see my boyfriend. :/

But its okay, we'll make it through it; I know it.

School started today -_______- fml
I hated it. Uniform & all this bullcrap.
It was TOO hot & I got stopped like 4 times.
Like stfu, its too hot!
& then all these freshmen I swear there's like 263663932159 more students this year,
Its ridiculous. -_-
My classes sucks, people suck, I just wanna be w/ my boyfriend<3

I'm just gonna work my ass off this year.
Do what I gotta do.


Happy two year anni babe :* <3
I love you

i have the best boyfriend in the world

I swear, I really do have the best boyfriend<3

I'm really sleepy so I'm gonna leave it at that.

But, I love you<3

1:28am . . .

Baby said he'd call me by 1:34 let's see if he can do this.

I'm writing because I know if I don't, I'll probably fall asleep. -_-

But anyways; thanks babe<3
For tonight, for every night.
You really cheered me up.
I love you.

I miss you, but these phone calls are amazing
Our bipolar phone calls. Lol
Your the best babe<3

& btw; I peed & "blew my nose"
I still have boogers :D <3

I'm hot now.
See all I gotta do is take off one blanket and I still have the other one
I'm obviously the brains in this relationship.
Your dumb. :D

Love you little turtle headdd <3
Its 1:33 so you should be calling me any second now, so I'll leave this here.

I love you baby<3

wait, they dont love you like i love you

John Anthony Feliciano <3 Where do I even begin w/ you? My boyfriend<3 My bestfriend<3 My love<3 My everything<3 The love of my life<3

90208<3 forever & ever babe
I know we've had our ups&downs
I know there are people that don't want us together
I know we've been through so much
Too much, but it was all worth it

Because of you, I believe in love, I swear I do<3

"Nothing can compare to your first true love, so I hope this will remind you, when its forreal, its forever; so don't forget about us" <3

These past two days = AMAZING<3
No other words can explain what these two days have been like
I just love being around you, even if you do beat me up
& your brother colors me (:
& your cousin says you should get married & have kids lol
I just love you, period

& no I wasn't happier yesterday
& no I wasn't happier today
I'm equally as happy when I'm with you
I promise you I am<3

You really don't understand how much you really mean to me<3
I can't even begin to explain
& yeah; it may seem like I'm beat
But, I am & I don't care
I love this feeling
& I thank God everyday for giving you to me & showing me a deeper meaning to life<3

I know I'm young & you are too
& I know its too soon for anything
But baby; I'm gonna marry you one day<3


"When we're together I be feeling so strong, but when we're apart I don't know where to start.
You've been nothing short of perfect, baby I've been tryna make it worth it.
When you say that you love me, boy you make me feel invincible.
Baby you know my love ain't gon' go nowhere & I know the only thing that's pumping throught my veins, is you
You know I'm only living for your love<3
You see I hit the ground runnin' searching for your love
& I will never run from it, I promise
I won't survive without it, our flatline.
'Cause boy my heart beats for you<3
You know my love ain't gon' go nowhere
So, beautiful, hold me tight don't ever let me go
'Cause you know I'm only living for your love" <3

I don't know what I'd do if you ever left me<3

I'm done for now, I love you babe<3 JnC <3



-kpce (:

just gonna stand there & hear me cry

But that's alright, because I love the way you lie.

You did it.
You finally did it.
You've completely broke my heart.
Congrats; you're the first person to do it.
How does it feel ?

I know I said I'd be strong,
But for once in my life;
I'm just gonna let it all out.
It doesn't even matter anymore;
It really doesn't.
The one thing I was willing to fight for.
The one person I'd give my all to,
Doesn't want me anymore,
So what's the point?

I was never good enough & I'm sorry.
I thought we'd be okay, but you had other plans.

I love you, & I always will.
But it doesn't mean much anymore.

Kpce.

this is ridiculous. . .

I've been crying myself to sleep every night, for a while now too.
It just doesn't feel the same; its like you don't love me anymore.
I don't know what I did to make you change, but its not the same you & you don't understand how much it hurts me.
Its even gotten to the point where you hang up on me; you NEVER did that to me.
You would never ever do that. No matter how mad you were.
& now, you don't even say bye.
It sounds stupid & like not a big deal, but it is a big deal.
To me it is.

I don't know, maybe I'm just over thinking things, but this is driving me insane.
I don't even have anyone to talk to it about.
Its pathetic.
Its gotten to a point where I have to write.
I can't even talk to anyone anymore; I don't have anyone.

Maybe everythings just getting to me, but I'll be okay.

-kpce.

its been a while . . .

Its been such a loooooong time; I guess I haven't really had the time, or the patience to do this. I mean its been a pretty great few months. Everything was like absolutely perfect.
Until recently. I don't know summer started & everything else like ended.

615<3
So much history between us. . .
& while I was reading my last two posts, everything just came back to me.
I remember that night; almost too perfect.
I was so happy<3
You promised me forever.
Now, I just feel like everythings falling apart & none of us are doing anything to get it back to normal.
I mean I tried, tried so hard but right now; its gotten to a point where I just don't know anymore.
I love you<3 & you of all people should know that; but I feel like you're too scared to believe that.
After everything we've been through; almost two years of struggle I can't forget about you.
But, I just feel like you're pushing me away.
I feel like you're letting everything get in between us & you don't understand when I tell you something.
I don't care if you ask where I am & who I'm with.
I don't care if you ask what I'm doing & when am I gonna be home.
I don't care that you do it because you care about me.
What I do care is when you get mad at me when I answer those questions.
I understand you don't like me hanging out w/ certain people but you have to respect the fact that those people are my friends.
& you don't respect that.
I'm w/ you for a reason; because I WANT to be.
So why can't you trust me?
Why do you think that I don't want to be w/ you
& after all of this you think I'm alright.
Obviously I'm not gonna sit & cry all day just because I'm pissed off at the fact that you think that & just don't even attempt to talk to me anymore.
We can't even talk anymore. Everytime we do; we argue.
I hate it. I hate it so much.
I just want every Thing to go back to normal but for some reason I don't think you'll let it.
All this crap just gets to me & I needed to vent.

I'm going to have a break down soon, but its okay; I need it.

Either way; I'll be okay, we'll be okay<3

-kpce<3

They got nothing on you, baby. ♥

taco belll ! <3 lmao.

you just put me in a good mood, all the time.
you make me smile, and you just make me so happy. <3

i wish things could stay like this forever,
but i'm not that big of a fool to think this is going to stay like this forever.
i mean, maybe it will. but it probably won't.
either way, i'm going to make the best of the time it does stay like this.

i wanna watch mean girls!
I havent seen it in sooooo long.
that makes me sad. lol

parent trap is tooooo funny xD
makes me laugh a little. (:

omg, i'm so in love - i found you finally. ♥

-kpce. (:

you don't know the half of it, but baby here's the rest of it . . .

did you know that you're a gift far brighter than the sun?
did you know that you're a blessing & I'm the lucky one?
did you know that I could never ask for a bette love?

two more years . . . 
btw; pinky promises are legittt .

i had the mostt amazing day today.
even though i cried, i laughed, i smiled & cried a little more, i loved every minute of it.

when was the last time i was in your arms like that ?
i missed it so much, i've missed you so much. ♥
& now that i have it back, I don't want to lose it - ever.

even though its tough, and things aren't the same; feelings are.
it felt so amazing to actually hear those words come out of your mouth <3
& don't get me wrong, a lot of those tears were happy tears, but some of them were a little sad, for the simple fact that it's so easy for you to just get up & walk away.

i have so much to say now, but when i'm around you it all goes away.
you leave me speechless <3

I'm like just so happy, I'm just smiling. <3
ah; this four letter word w/ so much meaning - l.o.v.e ♥ 

- kpce. ♥

Today, I will be happier than a bird with a french fry. ♥

Sometimes you just have to make the decision to be happy. Just realize that things aren't ever what you hoped they'd be. Not ever. For Anybody. The only thing that separated one kind of person from another is that there are some who stay angry about it and there are some who accept what comes their way. ♥

Diqueee iceskating. smh. lmao.
Ended up bowling w/ the plastics. It was fun.
Shakin' mahh headdd. lmao! <3
I love them. ♥

Behind every b e a u t i f u l thing, there's some kind of p a i n. - BobDylan ♥

I kind of hoped I saw you today, I just want to know how you're holding up.
I know I can just hit you up, but I'm scared.
I don't want things to go further, even though things aren't like that for me anymore.
I don't want you to think you can keep playing with me, because those days are long over.
It was weird though, I did want to see you.
At least see how you would react.
Pero bueno, I had fun tonight.

You are every r e a s o n, every h o p e, & every d r e a m I've ever had. No matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the g r e a t e s t day of my life. ♥

Summer, I can't wait. ♥

I love you. ♥

When I say it, I want it to be more than words. I want it to be . . . perfect. ♥

Today was such an ugh! day. Had it's ups & downs.

Went back to the orthodontist, got my retainer. -____-
I'd rather have my braces.

Got home.
Kevin came over, then Michael. ♥
Jay came too. (:
After that Rosemary came and we made sammiches.
We're eating before everyone got here, then Giggles is all like "I'm outside"
So we're like crap! so we're like stuffing our faces, and it was just mad funny.
So we go to the garage & whatever.
Everyone else got there.
Then Gabe pissed me off, so he's out & now I'm missing someone.
It was kind of funny, to see the reactions of others I mean.
Like, after everything I was just like anyways; continue - I'll dance w/ you Vanna.
I don't know; everyone was prety shocked - including myself.
I knew it was bound to happen though.
Whatever, I'll get over it although I'm pretty pissed.

We practiced & it was an okay practice.
I mean it could've been better, but overall it was okay.
We jammed a little - then Maggie had me trying on my dress.
Everyone left, and my parents pissed me off - nothing new.
Vanna drew for me. ♥

I told bestfriend. ♥
It wasn't serious, but it's important for me to tell him.
A bit awkward, but I do think he's happy for me & if he isn't he'll understand.

The start of something new. ♥

I'm off this now, I had a long day.

Kpce. <3

No Es Normal Si Tu No Estas Con Migo. ♥

"I know this is going to be really cliche but for the first time I really believe that you could possibly be the right girl I need & deserve. <3"

My night has been made, I swear.

That's all for now, I'm going to have a late night convo. ♥

Kpce. <3

Sin Tetas No Hay Paraiso. ♥

My novela. (:

Anywho, I had to come back and vent.
Jay came over, and we had chinos. ♥
We talked & I missed it.
I love her. <3

Then Kevin came over. (:
& Jay was here, it was a tad awkward, but overall; okay. <3
We were here for a while, whatever then Kevin left and me and Jay stayed and we talked a little.
I tried to get out of dance, but my brother played me so I went to dance.

I freaking hate being there, I swear.
& then that dance is so freaking stupid and unorganized.
She needs to learn how to teach, I swear.
I could've done a better job. -___-
Then she jad me doing something all stupid, and I was getting mad.
Then, it was 9:OO; time to go! and she wasn't letting us out.
I was so frustrated! Ugh, so she let us out at 9:15.
I was pissed, I swear. So, I get into the car all heated.
My mom gets all heated too.
We get home and then my mom out of nowhere was all like "Si va ser la fiesta como la va ser usted, entonces yo no voy a ir."
& I'm all like, wtf; "entonces no valla"
& she's all like ay no Nana, you're doing it all ugly and blah blah blah.
& I'm like; Ma, it's my party. It's my day. I want it the way I want it.
It's not fair that I have to have it you're way, I want to do it my way.
& Now she's all walking in telling me to get off the computer.
She need to hopp off my dick, I swear.
I'm so frustrated and mad.
I just wanna shower. -___-


My moms sitting next to me just pissing me off.
Asking me if someone's pretty.
Hello! Do you not have eyes. Wtf.
Do you not see I don't want to talk to you!

Now I'm going to watch my novela, take a nice shower, and listen to some Aventura. ♥

kpce.

Mi Amor Es Grande. ♥

I'm really sad I didn't get to blog yesterday. =/

Let's recap. I stayed over Natasha's house and whatever.
We did like nothing in the morning, pero it was iight.
Tia made the banginest food, I swear. <3
Then, we did choreography for my sweet.
I actually really like it.
It's simple, but mad cute. ♥

I left & I was supposed to go to dance, but I went to the gym instead.
I reallllly didn't feel like going, so I took it mad easy.
My contacts were bothering me so much, I really couldn't see.
So, my mom was getting mad at me because I kept complaining and blah blah blah.
& I was all like, "Stop tal tal talkin' that blahh blahh blahhhh!"
She got mad. :D
She kept asking me about the necklace. ♥
I didn't tell her though. I'm not ready.
I know she won't care, she'll probably even be happy,
but she'll be mad annoying about it.
& I'm not ready for that.
Then she bought me chicken nuggets. ♥
So much for going to the gym. Hahah.

Got home and did like nothing.
Well, I read. ♥
& Kevin was acting reallly gay. Lmao.
I started singing, and mommy told me to shutup.
I was mad depressed.
My singing is mad beautiful. ♥ Lol.
My brother was acting dumb, and it was really funny.
Then he fell asleep and I was texting for a little, then he fell asleep too.
So, I was mad depressed, so I tried to sleep.
I was in and out of sleep all night, my thoughts were everywhere.
For once, it was in a good way. ♥

So now you see why I'm scared. I can't open up my heart w/ out a care. But here I go, it's what I feel & for the first time in my life I know that it's for real. ♥

If this is love, please don't break me. I'm giving up so just catch me. ♥

That song has definitely grown on me. I really like it. ♥

So, today I woke up and went to the orthodontist. I am now brace-less. :D 

It feels kind of funny, kind of fake. 

My smile. ♥ 

Jay's here now. (: 

So I'll be back later.

kpce. ♥

My Whole Life Has Changed. ♥

Skills baby. (: <3
I'm mad G. Doing my cousins makeup at midnight.
No lives much ?

For the way you changed  my plans, for being the perfect distraction.For the way that you took the idea that I had and made me see there was something missing. ♥

I have my mom's lips. fml. Lmao.

I was looking through old pictures, & I don't think I'm going to cut my hair anymore.
My hair was beautiful, I want it to look like that again. <3

I got plans to put my hands in places I've never seen. (; - I'm jammin`

* I just want to take it nice & slow . ♥

LMFAO!
*me doing kissy face.
*Natasha trying.
me: No Sabe?
Natasha: (mad serious) No!
LMFAO!

You've got me smiling in my sleep.

Your love is where I'm falling, but please don't catch me.

See this heart won't settle down. Like a child running scared from a clown

I'm terrified of what you do. My stomach hurts just when I look you.

Run far away, so I can breathe. Even though you're far from suffocating me.

I can't set my hopes too high because every hello ends w/ a goodbye. ♥

I had the perfect thing to blog about, but it suddenly escaped me. =/
Que frio, I swear. I was meant to live in the hot somewhere.
me+cold=a no no.

What do I blog about! Omg, I never get this stuck. -__-

Lalala, my life is amazing. (:
I remember what I was going to blog about last night.
I was reading all my old posts, and God I was so damn depressed.
Like, wtf was my problem? I was depressed for the stupidest reason.
I want to delete those, start over, start fresh.
But at the same time, it reminds me of a place I never want to go back again.
A place I'll gladly stay away from.
It got me really upset, I can't believe people actually had to deal w/ me.
I wouldn't. I would've been like stfu already.
You're beat over someone who doesn't care.
Get over yourself.
I'm so glad i finally did. I swear. I was so stupid.
I can't believe how blind you made me.

My eyes are open again.

I know what it's like to breathe again.

I know what it's like live again. ♥

 It exists, it does. ♥

This blog took me the longest, and it was mad pointless. I'm off this now. 

Kpce. ♥ 

Plastic Sabotage. ♥

 

I love my Plastics. ♥

Today was the most worthwhile Monday I've ever had in my life. <3

Javy: "best.Monday.Of.My.Life!" 

Hahaha, we win. ♥ 

That's definitely the best picture of the night, well on my camera.

Yovanna's hair came out amazing. ♥ It was gorgeous & Sam's makeup - gorgeous. (: 

Javy's hair, hmm we're working on it. xD

Who would've known Yovanna could do makeup? My makeup came out so pretty. I was so proud of her. <3

I wish we actually would've went out. Lol.

Saturday, we got this. xD ♥ 

Hahaha, these people are growing on to me, I ♥ them. <3

Lovers & Friends. ♥

My SOD today was definitely "Never Knew I Needed" - NeYo. ♥

"You're something I'd never choose, but at the same time something I don't want to lose & never want to be without ever again." ♥

So, I was thinking about it & I came up w/ I don't care anymore. I used to think it was awkward, something I couldn't go through with. Something I just couldn't see myself doing. But after my dream last night, I'm scared that it's really going to happen and that is something I do not want, ever. I would feel like straight up crap. So now I know, I'm into this. I know I want to try & I know I'm putting my all into it. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but I promise you I am. ♥

It's mad effing cold, I swear. It was so hot earlier, and now I'm like shaking. 

Hahaha, this blog actually looks pretty. (:
I put some effort into it. I win. ♥

I'm off this now, I will be back tomorrow, hopefully w/ a pretty post again. <3

kpce. ♥

Remembering Sunday

I really do love that song <3

Anywho, my posts have been halfassed and my page is starting to look gross.

I'm going to put more time into this because it's something I actually look forward too. <3

I'll start later tonight, promise. (:

Kpce

Forever and Always.

<3

I have been writing this blog for like a day now. I don't have anything to write.

Valentines day <3

I've never been one to love, or hate valetines day. It's just always been a regular day seeing PDA and blahblahblah. Btw; this blog is gonna be a little backwards.

So two years ago on valentines day; was a great day for me. I won't forget it. It was just one of those special days. Although it doesn't mean much to me anymore, I still remember that day.
Last year was a bitter sweet kind of valentine. I got what I wanted throughtout the day but by this time I was pissed. I had gotten played which was nothing new w/ you. But whatever I got over it. Still a very memorable day.
This year, is def. going to be a day I remember.

I got my book <3
* you were right, I love you forever <3
It was just a great day over all. I had fun. (:
Lalala I don't wanna go into details because well... I just don't (;

Yesterday now. :D
Was so much fun. I swear if that continues it'll be hilarious and jut great <3

Can I use my DTDSL on your Ph.D. (; lmfao mad funny.

Can't wait till tomorrow. <3 I'm excited.

I'm off this. I'm exhausted.


Kpce. <3

Late night convos.

<3

Snow days are pointless but I'm not ready to go back to school, especially not for ONE day. -___-

Whatevss.

Kevin hit a soft spot today. -___- I don't think he really believes that it kind of does get to me. It really is a soft spot. But like I said before; whatevsss.

I went to ihop today, and I'm still really full. I should probably be sleeping but I like tired but not tired. I'm like realllly uncomfortable. I'm like hot but cold and my hairs in my face and like im just mad uncomfortable -____-; it's gonna be a longgg night.

Nightt <3

Invitala que ella va. (;

Im sore. -___-

Late night convos. <3

Now I'm going. Goodbye. (:

Te Prometo Que En Mi Mente Estaras Tu.

Today was pointless.
I didn't wanna go to school but whatever.
I wore my tech sweater and was getting gunned on but it's all good.
Effing freshmen ! I sweat I ripped him.
And ima rip him tomorrow too, just because I can.

Gym today was a killler.
Hotttie though <3
It was fun.
I kickboxed. <3

I'm exhasted. So I'm going to sleep.

Night people who don't even read this. (:

Tu amor me hace bien.

Todayyyy. <3

Was just fun. Ill keep details to myself. (;


Goodnight. <3

Every breath you take when you're sitting next to me . . .

will bring life into my deepest hopes. <3

Friday was mad pointless. After school hung out with some drill team geeks <3
I got in trouble because my mom was being mad annoying.
Then kevin came over and saved me (:
I got my sweater <3
Babygirl wanted me to go the movies w/ her, pero daddy said no, and I didn't really mind.
I was tired.
I was supposed to break night; failed miserably.
I was out by like12:30.

Saturday was so much fun. (:
Woke up & spent the morning w/ the little boogers. <3
then got ready & picked up micheal.
Went to buy my dress <3 ; & tried on this dress that made mad me look like a size zero again. <3
Those were the days , * sighh
I still got my dress though. (:
t/ taco bell <3
Back at my house w/ bestfriend.
We did nothing for a while t/ we started dancing.
I was going crazy. Lmao
Picked out my songs. (:
Laughed really hard.
Overall, it was an amazing day. Too much fun. <3

SuperBowl Sunday; supposed to spend it at kevins.
But its still really early.
So now i'm just gonna read. (:

Kpce. <3

Boy's II Men. ♥

we belong together, and you know that i'm right.
why do you play with my head?
why do you play with my mind?
said we'd be forever.
said it'd never die.
how could you love me and leave me and never say goodbye?
i can't sleep at night without holding you tight.
each time i try i just break down and cry.
pain in my head, i'd rather be dead spinning around and around.
although we've come to the end of the road.
still i can't let go.
it's unnatural.
you belong to me, i belong to you.
i know you really love me, you just don't realize.
you've never been there before, it's only your first time.
maybe i'll forgive you.
maybe you'll try.
we should be happy together.
forever, you and i.
can you love me again like you loved me before?
this time i want you to love me much more.
this time instead just come to my bed.
and baby, just dont let me down.♥

Can you love me again like you loved me before ?

Today. Ugh. Today was some day.

I woke up late, and from there I knew it wasn't going to be my day.

School was whatever. English was hilarious.
"who's he? Who's they !? How you know !? You ain't a primary source !"
"you just hatin' cuz you wasn't there!"
To funnny ! Pringles <3 that was so funny.

I passed my geometry test with a 100. I thought I failed it, and I got a 100. He used mine to show the class how it was supposed to be done. Yeah, I'm nice. :D

After school was funny; waited in the car with mathew for luis like 20 efffing minutes. -___-
That's when it happened. I swear I was so pissed, omg. I wanted to cry out of anger. Like I don't even understand & to have the nerve to ignore me?! Omg I flipped. But whatever I didn't wanna get lectured by luis or mathew, so I kept it in. We went to wendys <3 luis bought me food (: we sat and ate like fatties. Then we came home and mathew took the longest way home. We passed by number one school and luis was like omg ! Little boys ! LMFAO ! that was soooo hilarious. Omg.

I got home and I got pissed again. So I was really pissy and told everyone to leave me alone.
I realized I probably shouldn't have done that.

I have to get ready for dance now.

Kpce

if tomorrow you feel lonely it's okay . . . ♥

I'm hyper (:
but I have to do my hair. my life sucks. lmao.

tomorrow's uniform day. guess who isn't wearing her uniform? :D

i'm mad im like drying my hair during commercials of the real world.

I'm reallly tired. Today was a good day though (:

delayed opening; school was iiiight. nothing too interesting. I'm always put on blast though, but whatever. i dont care. after school mathew took me and jay to bk (: After that i came home and cleaned and my room actually looked neat. (: i was so proud of myself. then kevin came over. He's a jerk (: we chilled for a while. then he left. and yeah. lol. blahblahblah. went to the gym & came home and now im really tired.

so now i'm going to bed.goodnight.

Kevin (:

Writing a blog for you. I already feel it, I'm going to get stuck. -___-

Let's see, I started this at 1O:1O, Let's see what time I finish. (:

You're a jerk.
You're mean.
You're sarcastic.
You're annoying.
But I love you. ♥

Before I forget, you really aren't a good advice giver, trust me. (:

Anywho, Sunday ? We in there! (:

Okay, so I'm going to start this now.
This isn't for everyone to read;
This isn't for anyone to criticize or anything like that.
This is for Kevin, so if you aren't him, then I don't know why you even bother. (:

Think & thin.
Ups and downs.
You've seen me laugh;
You've seen me cry.
You've even seen me grow up to the girl I am now.

It's funny, you would think your elementary school friends won't be friends passed middle school & if they do, they either get really close, or very distant. Luckily, we've just become closer. Even though there are times where it feels like we aren't as close anymore, all it takes is one day and we're as close as ever, once again.

I can probably go on forever, but it's been an hour and I'm really cold, so I'll keep it at that.

You're amazing Kevin, seriously. Don't let anyone tell you differently. I love you. ♥

-Nana. (:

btw: i win, and you finally admitted it. kthnks. (:

Take my hand we'll make it I swear. ♥

whoooaaaaa livin' on a prayer!! i'm jammmin' ! <3

I gotta catch up with this blog.

I'm really sad I can't find the workout song from saved by the bell on limewire. smh.
I'm really fat; I keep eating. It's effing cold in my room & I want to play rockband. ♥

I complain too much, lmao. So, let's recap. Last post was January 18; long time ago. after that, i can't really remember much. days went fast/slow. Margie's sweet was fun, she looked so pretty. ♥ I'm getting my braces off soon, and my sweet is officially on May 28. (: Everything's been pretty good, except for the fact I have a stalker, mind you he's really really realllllly annoying. He doesn't even like try to be discreet, he's just really out there and annoying. fml. lol

there's nothing left to say, don't waste another day, just stay with my tonight & everything will be okay. if it's alright with you, then it's alright with me. baby let's take this time let's make new memories. ♥

My mom's being reallllly annoying. Like she's odee pisssy. For no damn reason. anywho. I'm procrastinating maddd hard, i'm supposed to be writing blog about kevin. (:

Teeen Mom. Ryan deserves to get shot, i swear. Macy deserves so much better. if any guy ever did that to me, omg; i swearrr. I would flippppp. he really does get me mad. and Tylers too cute for catelynn. and Farrah should just grow up. and amber is so annoying and she complains too much. i'm really mad i'm flipping out. lol, i'm a loser. ♥

everyone's all like "oh, formspring starts so much drama!" not me, because people don't know i exist. yay (: that means drama is officially over for me. woohoo. I'm actually in a really good mood. except for the fact i'm mad cold.

i want someone to love me for who i am. i want someone to need me, is that so bad? Nick Jonas ♥


LMFAO! my brother know's the commerical to dear john. like i'm not even exaggerating. he knows the WHOLE thing. LMFAO! i love my brother. he cracks me up. (:

i have to take my makeup off. my eyeliner came out really pretty today. i was happy.
it took me like 10 minutes though. smh. lol.

these little auto corrects with the little red squigglies are really bothering me. i don't know how to take it off though.

Bentley is the cutest ♥ Ryan's hot too, but he's such a jerk. Smh.

GTL; all dayyy everyydayy babby ♥

I'm so effing random, wtf. this blog went from me being fat, to me having a stalker, to teen mom, to jersey shore. i'm slow. xD

ugh; i guess i'll post this now & start kevin's blog.

kpceee. ♥

Dear John

Best book i've read so far. I cried so much, it was really good. I am now bookless =/

It got me thinking though. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe everyones right. Maybe I don't want it anymore. I've waited so long, & now that I have it; I don't want it. I don't know what to do about it though. For some reason, I want you to do something about it. & you not doing anything make me feel unimportant, but what more can I ask for? I understand I guess. No, actually; I don't. Why don't you do something about it !? It frustrates me so much ! You see me drifting away. See me pushing myself away, & you act like you don't care ! I don't know what to do ! I wanna cry.

I think I am going to cry, & expect a text im never going to receive, & I if I do, a text I won't answer.

I need to do something about this. I need something. I need to know what it feels like to breathe again. <3


Kpce

Lucha por amor. <3

I wanna blogg bit idontknow about what. Lol

I didnt go to school. & it was Vannas birthday. She looked so pretty. <3

I did my eyeliner so pretty & I've been home allday lol

Idk what to do. I'm bored. I shouldve went to dance.

Im going to rosemarys tomorrow. She's making me breakfast. :D I <3 her.


Yeah. Ima go "study".


Kpce

Boats & Hoes !

Watching stepbrothers with gabe, natasha, giggles, & chris. :) <3

Dear nobody,
I don't know where to begin. I'm usually so happy, but this is starting to get on my nerves.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I need you, but I don't want you.
I want you, but I can't do this.
This is too hard for me
It makes no sense.
It makes all the sense in the world.
I don't know what to do with myself.

Today was so blah. I'm just really funny xD.
I make guava & rosemary laugh so much! I'm funny xD
I always make my own day, but then it goes away

I'm always happy around other people, but when it comes to me time; nothing makes sense.
Fml; this is gay & tomorrows uniform day ugh !

Step brothers is really funny. I've seen this movie like four times in the past month. Hilarious.


I love Rosemary <3



I'm frustrated, so I'm just gonna go.

Kpceee

The way you do the things you do; make me fall in love with you. <3

Yesterday was hilarious ! Mad fun yesterday. (:

"practice" was fun. They mad dumbbb. Lmao

Blahhh idk what to write. I gotta get ready. Lalalaaaa.

It's not the same anymore. Idk what's wrong. But whatever. I'm in a good mood today. I'm not gonna ruin it.

I'm gonna showerrr. Pceeee. (:

You probaby don't care what I have to say. <3

Today was horrible ! This week has been horrible ! -_____-

Monday, back to school. Yaaay. Nothing really happened. So blah.

Tuesday morning, I find out something I didn't want to find out. Honestly, I'm not over it. It's not that I don't want you to talk to her. Well, it kind of is; but I will never tell you to do that. I just know how she can be, & knowing she doesn't like me, who knows what's she's saying about me. I don't know. I just wanna know what went on, or what didn't go on. I just don't want to bring it up again because it gets me mad. I don't know. I don't want to ruin anything with you, ever. You're apart of me now, whether you like it or not & like I don't know. I'm just scared, terrified even. I want to give it my all, but how can I give my all to someones who has let me down before; more than once. & it's hard not knowing if your giving it your all. I'm horrible at commitment, but I know with you is where I want to stay. <3

Today, no school. So I decided to have practice. Everything went completely wrong. Period. Bad day over all. But then people started leaving and watched a movie with gabe&natasha. It was fun. (: now I'm just watching the real world. I wanna have fun like these people. I just want to see baby. =/

Ugh! I just want to be next to him. It sounds super beat & stupid, but I hate not being able to see him whenever I want, & I hate not being able to I don't know just being able to BE with you.

I wanna run.
I want to stay.
I want to cry.
I want to smile.
I don't want to be scared.
but, I can't help it.

love can sometimes be m a g i c, but magic can sometimes be just an i l l u s i o n <3

I'm off to bed.

Kpce.

It's been a while.

I feel like I can't keep up with this thing anymore.

Let's see; December 22 was a Tuesday. Well, the rest of the week was iiighttt. lol

Then Christmasssssssss ♥

I was a third wheel on Christmas Eve. With my LITTLE cousin. -____- So, I was like "eff that, I'm leaving" I went outside and was with baby♥ for a little. I missed him, a lot. <3

Then, blah after Christmas I don't remember much of. All I know is that in between that I stayed over Jay's and saw baby again. (: New Years was kind of wack ; who drinks sparkling apple cider ?! HEEHEEHEExD it was iiight though. Spent it with Jay & Vanna: my favorite girls (:

Next morning went out with Gabe Vanna Jay & Deuce. Mean ass adventure. Mall, bowling, park, movie night. Saw baby again <3 he makes me happy (: That day was an adventure.

Saturday stayed home alllll day; dique "homework day" I didn't even start. I stayed over the little boogers house (nextdoor) and slept with Keyla. That little girl is the cutest, & Kimberly looks up to me so much. ilovethosegirls♥

Today; did nothing until confirmation, it was mad weird, I thought you would be there. Since you weren't, saved me from a lot. (: Although, I had a lot to say to you, but I guess that's fine. (:


Overall, I'm happy. (:

I don't really want to go back to school though, but it is what it is.

Doing homework for now, I guess..

kpce ♥