Wednesday, January 6, 2010

You probaby don't care what I have to say. <3

Today was horrible ! This week has been horrible ! -_____-

Monday, back to school. Yaaay. Nothing really happened. So blah.

Tuesday morning, I find out something I didn't want to find out. Honestly, I'm not over it. It's not that I don't want you to talk to her. Well, it kind of is; but I will never tell you to do that. I just know how she can be, & knowing she doesn't like me, who knows what's she's saying about me. I don't know. I just wanna know what went on, or what didn't go on. I just don't want to bring it up again because it gets me mad. I don't know. I don't want to ruin anything with you, ever. You're apart of me now, whether you like it or not & like I don't know. I'm just scared, terrified even. I want to give it my all, but how can I give my all to someones who has let me down before; more than once. & it's hard not knowing if your giving it your all. I'm horrible at commitment, but I know with you is where I want to stay. <3

Today, no school. So I decided to have practice. Everything went completely wrong. Period. Bad day over all. But then people started leaving and watched a movie with gabe&natasha. It was fun. (: now I'm just watching the real world. I wanna have fun like these people. I just want to see baby. =/

Ugh! I just want to be next to him. It sounds super beat & stupid, but I hate not being able to see him whenever I want, & I hate not being able to I don't know just being able to BE with you.

I wanna run.
I want to stay.
I want to cry.
I want to smile.
I don't want to be scared.
but, I can't help it.

love can sometimes be m a g i c, but magic can sometimes be just an i l l u s i o n <3

I'm off to bed.

Kpce.

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