its been a while . . .

Its been such a loooooong time; I guess I haven't really had the time, or the patience to do this. I mean its been a pretty great few months. Everything was like absolutely perfect.
Until recently. I don't know summer started & everything else like ended.

615<3
So much history between us. . .
& while I was reading my last two posts, everything just came back to me.
I remember that night; almost too perfect.
I was so happy<3
You promised me forever.
Now, I just feel like everythings falling apart & none of us are doing anything to get it back to normal.
I mean I tried, tried so hard but right now; its gotten to a point where I just don't know anymore.
I love you<3 & you of all people should know that; but I feel like you're too scared to believe that.
After everything we've been through; almost two years of struggle I can't forget about you.
But, I just feel like you're pushing me away.
I feel like you're letting everything get in between us & you don't understand when I tell you something.
I don't care if you ask where I am & who I'm with.
I don't care if you ask what I'm doing & when am I gonna be home.
I don't care that you do it because you care about me.
What I do care is when you get mad at me when I answer those questions.
I understand you don't like me hanging out w/ certain people but you have to respect the fact that those people are my friends.
& you don't respect that.
I'm w/ you for a reason; because I WANT to be.
So why can't you trust me?
Why do you think that I don't want to be w/ you
& after all of this you think I'm alright.
Obviously I'm not gonna sit & cry all day just because I'm pissed off at the fact that you think that & just don't even attempt to talk to me anymore.
We can't even talk anymore. Everytime we do; we argue.
I hate it. I hate it so much.
I just want every Thing to go back to normal but for some reason I don't think you'll let it.
All this crap just gets to me & I needed to vent.

I'm going to have a break down soon, but its okay; I need it.

Either way; I'll be okay, we'll be okay<3

-kpce<3