Me vio muy triste supo que perdí la fe. <3

Por ti la Luna alcance. x3

I don't know what to efffing do with myself !
Mall yesterday was fun, a little awkward bit overall mad fun. It's just weird. Idk. It's not like that for me & for some reason I'm glad it isn't. I have a feeling it would just get Me into trouble. That made me realize a lot

I don't even know what to write. I just like the little clicky noise my iPod makes.

I'm falling asleep. I hate being so tired.

"icant eat my sammich" =\ LOL! awe. Loll yeah I don't feel like explaining.

I gotta plan my sweet -________- ! Fml.

I'm gonna take a nap.


Pce

-_________- !

Lala. Last post was on Sunday. But nothing has really happened since then. I've just been really frustrated lately.

I can't believe how much that bothered me. I mean it's been a long time & people move on, but it actually bother me a lot & it did put me in a bad mood. Was it really that easy. I know I shouldn't be talking but it hasn't been like that for me. Whatever idontknow I'm driving myself crazy.

I'm so tired but I don't think I can sleep. I don't know what to do with myself.

I hate what you do. It makes me second guess everything with you. Being around those enviornments isn't good for me, but I can't abandon you. Ugh; idk. Blah

Night

Daddys home. (:

Sunday was tiring. But my night ended exactly how I wanted it. You're like a drug & this is starting to become an addiction.

Anyways. I decided I want a sweet. Planning has officially begun. (:


Homework time. Peaceeeeouut

Jenices sweet. (;

Wasss really fun (:
& she looked beyond amazing. <3

I'm exhausted. Waking up in four hours. Night.



Kpceeee

We could write a bad romance. <3

You frustrate me. I can't believe I'm stressing over this. Whatever. It doesn't matter.

I'm out.

yo sin ti, tu sin me; that's not normal. ♥

I should be doing homework, but I won't just because I don't feel like it.

I finally saw Angels & Demons - it was actually really good. Different from the book, but still good. (:

I missed The Ruins because my brother's playing Madden. -___________-'

I'm jammin' mad hard, and it's my bedtime. Lol, I'm cool. xD

I walked in my heels today, around the house and I took the dog out too. I got tired, but not that bad. I don't know about the dancing, we'll have to see. I actually have some unplanned plans (if that makes sense) but I understand myself. I kind of have high expectations for that night. I probably shouldn't because I know I'm going to end up disappointed, BUT it is what it is.

I wonder how it went for you ; I really do. I worry. But, if you don't want to let me know then I guess I have to deal with it. I hope you're okay, and I wish you luck, sincerely & honestly from my heart. ♥


I'm going to do my nails; Kpce <3

That's the reason you're not here. <3

Who has an effing bombscare In the middle of an effing flood ?! Wtfffff. I was soaked & cold alllll day. Horrrible, just horrible day.


VVV funny about that post. Ironic much ?! -_____-



Nap time. Make me feel better.

Kpce

I knew I couldn't trust you.

Everyones in love. Makes me feels not worthy.
It really does bother me. It shouldn't, but I really does.
I don't feel worthy of anyones time anymore.

I gotta get ready for school, it's gonna be a long day. <3

es un pecado pensar solo en ti. ♥

Doing my hair at 11:23 at night. it's passed my bedtime.

i hate being on the computer, i feel like i forgot how to type. it makes no sense. and now i always space twice because i think a period is going to appear. -_- fml. lol

I hate homework. it makes me the maddestttt.

my boobs grew, i need to go bra shopping.

it's getting really cold. i hate the cold.

i need to stop this temptation, it's not good for me.
i'm becoming more flirty, why?
it's definitely boyfriend season, it makes me sick.
i guess i'm a little jealous, i have a reason, right?
i'm not ready for another relationship, or am i?
i'm starting to think this isn't for me, are you?
i don't think these feelings are mutal, sucks; doesn't it?
i'm becoming addicted to blistex, it's annoying.
i'm starting to hate my phone, i want to get rid of it.
i don't think people care anymore, maybe i'm just imagining it.
i'm happy again, surprising; hmph.
i enjoy being happy, forgot how much i missed it.
i want someone to sing to me, genuinely; sing to me.
i have split ends, i want to cut my hair.
11:3O, i should be sleeping.
i don't want to sleep, for once.

sum all this up ; pensive. ♥

kpceeeee.

can we work it out? <3

<-- I wonder if those work on computersss. Lol


I'm so tired ! I wanna take a nap, but nooooo I have to wash clothes. Fml !

This weekend was a waste. I was highly disappointed. Maybe my expectations were just too high. Whatever. I'm still disappointed. It makes no sense how gay it was. So pointless.

School was pretty pointless today too. But I like being hyper. It makes me happy.

I'm like falling asleep writing this. Makes so sense. My eyes are like literally closing.

There's gonna be one less lonely girl ! ;D

Now the party don't start till I walk in ! Don't stop make it pop, dj blow my speakers up tonight ! ;D

Kpce. Ill be back after I finish all the crap I have to do. -________-'

give you everything you need. <3

5O7, just woke up from my nap. I swear I don't know how to sleep, my eyeliner was all over my face. Lmao.

I stayed up pretty late doing my English project, so when I woke up this morning; I was not happy.

School went kind of slow, but it was alright. No one wanted to talk to me though. Everyone was mad depressed & I was mad like hyper and what not.

Rosemary: I want food.
Guava: I'm thirsty.
Me: I wanna me lady Gaga. . .
Them: LOL ! Wtf?!

That was possibly the most random thing I've ever said in my life. It was pretty funny. I crack myself up xD

So; I realized I might be in a littler deeper than I originally planned. I mean, I wouldn't mind if something were to actually come out of this, but for some reason; I'm doubting it. I think if there was some effort it could possibly be somethig special, I just don't know if that's what you want & it's actually really frustrating. Hopefully that gets straightened out this weekend. I hope I don't ruin things because I really like it, but I know what I have to do.



Michael; I don't know if you read these, but I love you - forever & I'm going to be here for you - always. You're my bestfriend & I wouldn't change that for the world. <3

"would you fall in love with me if you heard me say 'I loved you' ?"

I'm gonna go now;


Kpce. <3

i win !

i just realized i've finally reached 100 posts. :D

i gotta take a crap xD
so i'm gonna leave now.

kbye :D ♥

. . .

Anyways; I've been driving myself insane. Answering questions with more questions. I want answers. Answers to questions I haven't even thought of yet. Answers to make everything easier. Questions that CAN be answered. I don't know, I just need answers. I need something. I can't keep feeling this way. It's ridiculous. I like the fun, but I need something more. Something that can't be described. Something that'll stop making me feel so alone. ♥

dance time. yaaaaaay. -_-

kpce.

I know that you'll be right back. ♥

"It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone." - Marilyn Monroe.

Although I'm not sad or anything like that. I've just been driving myself insane lately. I don't know why I do this to myself. I mean, yes; I like you, Why can't I just go for it? I know why i can't, I know where that leaves me in the end & I'm not prepared for that. I'm not one to be clingy which is why I don't want to pursue it, but I never pursue what I want anymore. What happened to me?

Bbl; people are over. -_-

I'm amazing ! (:

I deff. had an epiphany that night. Feels amazing. (:

When you finally get a moment to yourself you will realize I was everything you were missing, & I'll tell you I'm in love with someone else. <3

I'm sad ! I found an app for blogging. But ! It needs the 3.0 software crap. -____- !

So, now I'm stuck with this. yaaaaaaaay. -___-

Today was kind of pointless. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. George said he's gonna hook me up with his cousin. From P.A -____- ; usess much ?! Lol, it's all good. Boys are losers & gay anyways.

:O ! I found out something so interesting today. Alcoholic ass people ! Swear they can keep things from me. Like forreal?! Comeon ! dumbassss. Then expect everything. Wtff. you're an idiot & then try to like corrupt my mind and crap. loserrrr ;D

My moms extra pissy today. It's kind of annnoying. & my iPod is lagging. gAY!

I'm sooooo sore. My hips hurt so bad. Almost feels like. . . (; Lol, kiddddddding ! I was proud of myself though, I did good. A little miserable because of that class, but overall I was happy. :D

Lmfao ! Me & my brother really had a serious conversation about having powers. It was the funniest thing ever. Omg, you have no idea. It was soooo funny. We really talked about our top three favorite powers to have. We came up with being able to control time; reading/controling peoples minds; & moving things with your finger. It was hilarious because we were really serious until we realized how stupid we sounded. It was too funny. Then when I woke up this morning my brother was like omg. I have a power ! & I'm like what? And he's like I can taste things in my sleep. I almost peed myself ! Hilarious.

Well, bestfriend just got here. Were gonna go be little slaves for my mom. -___-

Kpce. <3

Disculpe la molestia pero tengo que expresarme, está amistad me agrada pero exijo un poco mas. (;

Yayyyy. I'm so happy today. I have no idea why, but I am & I like it !

I need to be like this more often, it feels amazing ! :D

I'm watching heroes & peter is kind of sexy. Lol.

I need to clean, because Mommy is gonna get mad when she comes back if my rooms still a mess. So I'll be back laterrr




Kaypeace. <3

Dile al amor. <3

Concert was amazing ! <3

Finally home & KO in like 3 minutes.

Kpce. <3

Es un pecada pensar solo en ti. <3

Since my last post, things have been up & down. I don't really remember any specifics that went on so I don't know.

Well, ANYWAYS ! aventura tonight ?! Yessssirrr. :D I'm excited. Can't wait. & I'm going with bestfriend. Definitely gonna be a good night. (:

Yesterday, I realized the thing that was holding me back the most. I told myself I had to stop, that it wasn't good for me. But honestly, I don't care. It's time for me to do whatever the Hell I want. I've been holding back for sooo long, it's time for me to let go. & that's what I'm gonna do. I might regret it and regret everything I'm about to do, but at this point it doesn't matter. After the third time, I realized that no I don't regret it, yes I enjoy it, & yes I'm definitely gonna do it again, so why hold myself back ? Exactly why I'm not. Even though I am gonna do something about it, but that doesn't mean it'll stop

but I was caught up in physical attraction. . . <3

You're stupid. You're ridiculous. You're ugh! I can't even explain. I've met stupid, but you definitely top them all. I don't understand how you could ruin your life like that? Wtf?! Like wtf is wrong with you ? I mean yeah, people make mistakes, but this isn't a mistake. You knew what you got yourself into & then you take it as if it was no big deal. Like this is something that happens everyday. Wtf, no ! Forget about the fact that you hurt me, beyond repair. Forget about the fact that you definitely lost me. Forget about the fact you've ever had me. Forget about all of that, & you still just ruined your freaking life. Like wtf, & it's not even that you ruined it & are trying to fix it. It's like you ruined it & you're just trying to eff it up even more. Wtf is wrong with you. The normal thing to do is to at least try & get back on track. You just like don't give a crap anymore. Why would you do that ?! It makes absolutely NO sense to me. Like none whatsoever. I just hope you know; that was the last you'd ever see of me. I just hope you know & I know you probably don't even care but you had the best of me longer than anyone has ever. & you lost it. For your damn stupidity. No one will ever love you like I did & that sucks for you. But I'm done. This isn't good for me. I have my whole life ahead of me & being sucked into all your negativity isn't gonna do me ANY good. So, I'm just going to walk away & let it go.

Just forget me. . . .

Now that all that angers out, I'm gonna start getting ready. Long day ahead of me.

Goodbye bloggers. (:

Kpce. :) <3

what hurts the most . . . ♥

sorry bloggers.

i've been having a very rough time. & i think it's my time to admit that i'm not okay.

"i'm waking up screaming no longer believing that i'm going to be alright." ♥

iss me because I had cheesy lips. (; lmao

Kpce.

"Remembering Sunday he falls to his knees." <|3

Feeling like crap. & btw - nothing interesting has happened except the fact that george didn't wanna k

So I'm sitting here thinking why you let me go; I can't even think of a reason. Why?

I miss you & love you, forever. <3

la that song depresses me; nothings the same anymore ! Ughhh fml. * byeeeee

's okay.
Second chances they don't ever matter; people never change. <3
I would love to talk to you in person but I understand why that can't be. Lala

So this isn't cool ? Haha blogging from my phone. I am so amazed. :D
I just don't know how long it could be . . . & I also can't post a title, but that

Checking if this works. (:

12:12

Can't sleep. Texting.

"what's the point of having it all without the one you love?".


I'll just end it there. Don't feel in the mood to tell you my life story.



Bye

>=o !

eff school !!

so today;

I found the exact thing i was dreading.

was not my day.

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget. <|3

<|3

"Heaven knows I had never wanted to use him, but I couldn't help but interpret the guilt I felt now to mean that I had. Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to beak you. I'd been broken beyond repair. But I need him now, needed him like a drug. I'd used him as a crutch for too long, and I was in deeper than I's planned to go with anyone again. Now I couldn't bear for him to be hurt, and I couldn't keep from hurting him, either. He thought time and patience would change me, and, though I knew he was dead wrong, he'd still try. He was my bbestfriend. I would always love him, and it would never, ever be enough."


<|3 wish you'd understand.

Why you so obsessed with me? ♥

Yesterday was 1O/17 . exactly one year ago yesterday ; my life was perfect.
It's so weird. yesterday felt like a new beginning. Kind of ironic with the date and such. After that whole depressing note & everything, I went to sleep & woke up in the morning and was alright. not happy - but alright. i went with my mommy to some doctor because i'm a good girl & felt bad because she was going alone then after all that crap went home and it was only like 113O -_- so then at like 12 ; i was like "dad - i need an outfit for tonight." & he's all oh you got money and i'm like yeah, my BROTHER gave me money even though he don't got money like you and blah blah blah (trying to be slick. btw; didn't work. -_-) then he took me and i got this outfit, i really didn't like it, but by the end of the night, i thought it was so cute. (: blah whatever; at like 4 i went to yessy's & whatever we watched tv & blah blah blah. then i started straightening her hair & she thought i was never going to finish because he plancha doesn't work too well so i had to blow dry it. but come on, seriously? I'm a miracle worker. it came out so straight and pretty. then i did her makeup and she looked soo pretty (: then she got dressed but i didn't feel like it so whatever. at like 65O i started getting dressed and realized how big my butt looked in that damn dress! lmao ; i was like fml. we got there around 73O & went to the bathroom because it was still pretty early. took some pictures (phone cameras = ew.) -->




then after that one of yessy's friend's (frank) got there & he is one funny nigg ! omg, he was soo funny ; he swore we were stalking him & he was mad funny. him & his dance. so then the music started getting good so me & yessy were dancing and frank was there too ; and he had the hottest friend! omfggg ; i've never seen someone so sexy in my life ! so whatever ; he smiled at me and i said hey. lol so, whatever; we kept dancing and like he was really hott so then he was like behind me and yessy once so i turned around pretending like i was about to go grind on him, 'course; i was just kidding. so i went back & yessy's like NO ! and she pushed me. and then i was like looking at yessy and i was like stop! and then she told me to turn around, so i was like wtf; so i did & he's like, hi i'm mike - wanna dance? and i'm like kay suree. i turn around to yessy and i was like i'm gonnna kill youu. so whatever we dance like a mean ass mix that was never ending and then it finished i'm like yeah ; kay - i gotta peee. so i find yessy and she was mad soupedd ! & i'm like omg, it's not that serious ! so blah; we go back and keep dancing & he comes back and we dance again, and then i swear mad guys staring at me while i'm dancing, kind of ruined the mood. i didn't think it was that serious & blah . then whatever ; it started to get wack because they put all the white people music, but it was still funn. i danced my ass off ; & then we had to leave. got to yessy's & my dad was already on his way, then i got home. i was sooo exhausted ; i saw degrassi then knockedd outtt. btw ! for all those people who read this & think something else happened that night ; NOTHING happened. (:

this morning ; my phone rings, and i thought it was someone who always texts me madddd early so i was like it should be around 8, i'm not even gonna check so i went back to sleep. i wake up thinking it's like 93O - 1O the latest, and it's like 113O and i was like whooaaa latest i've slept in a long ass time. turns out it was jay that had texted me around 103O and so we talked and we ended up going to the mall. i got a hoodie and some flats then we went to her grandmas house. thats when i realized how exhausted i was; like omg. they brought me home around 5 and then i went to my tias house for a little. my cousin was like damn you look sooo tired & was like i'm exhausteddd. so then i leave and get home play a little ps3 take a shower & now i'm here. it's like 9 & i'm gonna end up going to sleep around like 93O. i'm sooo tired !

so now part i've been kind of dreading to write. . .
i think i am slipping away. & it won't happen any time soon. & you might think you can mend & fix everything; but in reality - you can't. i don't know ; it's hard because i know how you are & i know how i am & that just doesn't mix. & it's not that i don't care. i'm just tired of always stressing myself out over something that is possibly not going to happen. it's happened to me enough & i'm starting to not being able to deal with this stress. really; i'm too young for it & it shouldn't be like this. i should be enjoying myself & having fun - the same exact thing you should be doing too. & i feel as if you aren't because of me & i hate holding people back.

*como inventarme sentimientos que no han nacido y que le digo al corazon? ♥


kpce. x3

fml!

so today, i wrote the most depressing note ever. it was mad sad. like omg, i've never written anything more depressing. i'm mad depressed with my life !

fml; i hate this world.

nothing is going right ! & i don't have an outfit for tomorrow.






byeeeeeee

Think of you later in my empty room. <3

I think I just made the stupidest mistake of my freaking life. You were the only one that actually stayed knowing everything. The one that fought for me. The one that would do anything. The only one. & now I'm probably too late. I'm so stupid. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to put you through it again, I just can't do it anymore. This is too much for me. I'm going to cry.





I think I need you more than I want to need anyone. <|3

tell me something sweet to get me by. ♥

I don't think I'm ever going to feel better about any of this. I wish I could turn back time and just forget all of this and just keep going. I hate it, and I hate myself. I'm mad, sad, confused, anything you can think of. My mind won't shutup for just a few minutes! It's exhausting, I can't keep going like this. It's so frustrating! I don't even understand how you're dealing with it. & now I feel like you're becoming depressed because of me! Wtf, everyone's always blaming their depression on me. Jeez, I told you how I was, & now you're like all depressed because I don't want to chill with you. Wtf, hop off, you're not my boyfriend. You're not anything to me. You're getting way to clingy for no damn reason. You mean like close to nothing to me. & the way you're always telling me what to do! God, it's sooooo annoying! I don't know how to tell you, I just don't know what to do. I feel bad because you look like the type that'd stop talking to me; just like everyone else. =/ I've just been feeling so down lately. Everything is so confusing.

Whatever, Friday night & I'm taking it down soon. I have no reason anymore.


Kpce.

Ugh.

I'm so behind on homework. =/

anyways; i just read your blog & thanks. really. it doesnt change the fact that what i did was wrong, but really thanks. & you're not the only one, i can't focus either & it's been about a week. things haven't changed. i don't feel better about myself. i actually feel worse. but thanks for forgiving me, i will love you forever too. you still mean the world to me. & i really hope everything goes back to the way it used to & we're still as cool as we were. ♥

I feel horrible on how this ended. i really didn't want it to be that way. i hope you read this & you probably wont. Honestly, it hit me harder than it should've. i thought it'd be better for you & i'd be okay. but no, i mean i will be okay & as long as you're better off, i'm fine. it just hit me hard, & i miss you. but i can't change it. I can't be selfish & just do what i want to do. you need to have some sort of decision on what you want to do. i know you don't want to do it, but you have to. i understand completely; i don't want to hurt you.

i don't know what to do with my life. i think i should just give up on boys & just focus on school. this puts way to much pressure on me.

kpce.

<|3

fml !

I just realized summer's over ! I'm mad sad. =/

For you I will. ♥

let's see; since monday my world has been FUADSKGJHUIEAIAG

tuesday was like perfect; until later that night. After school was too funny. I got lectured by my mom because of Smitty & it was tooo funny. whatever it was good. then my dumbass of course.

i feel horrible though becuase it's all my fault. i don't understand why i put people through this ? they really don't deserve it. especially you guys. i don't even feel like anything because i feel so guilty about it. it wasn't how it seemed, but still i should've addressed it before it got worse. ugh ! i feel horrible =/ i don't deserve a second chance or anything. & if you you knew the rest of it. . .

i can't !


blah ! today; i didn't go to school. i didn't feel like it so i told mami i was too tired. she complained, but let me stay. lol now it's 11O & i'm mad bored, but its okay because i deff. did not want to go to school. blahblahblah.

i hate myself. i'm so sorry. =/

:D

Haha today was a freaking day ! I'm horrible but I enjoy it all. Goodbye ! (:

I'm missing you like crazy. <3

I miss you & everything we had. But I have to stop blaming it on myself. I know I did all I could to keep it alive, but you had the last decision. It was you that brought this upon both of us. Not me. I did what I could & now I'm over it. I don't wanna hear that your down or whatever because this is all your fault. It was you who thought you could leave and come back when you pleased, well guess what. I'm over it & I'm done for good. I finally realized I'm so much better without you. All you ever did was make me hurt. I'm not gonna lie, we had a lot of great times & those memories will fade sooner or later. But over all. I thank you. For everything you put me through. Although in the end it was not worth it; I learned so much. So many things that I know now because of you. You taught me so much, good & bad. Like you say, *it is what it is. Eff it. Even though you probably won't read this, I still have some hope that you do. I'm done and over with everything I just felt like letting out what I've felt like for the past few weeks.

Anyways. Last night was weird. But whatever. I was so tired I knocked out like at 1 then I just woke up like at 11 and Im still mad tired. It feels like a Sunday. Idk why. It's weird. I wanna do something today ! But blah. Yesterday the little booger loved me ! & today she slamming the door on me. I'm mad depressed !!! =\ she be playing me. Well whatever. I'm gonna eat. Be back when I feel like it.


Kpce. <3

IM SO SPECIAL !

that song is so stupid !!! IM SO SPECIAL ! IM SO SPECIAL ! SO SPECIAL SO SPECIAL !!!

that song is dumb. lol

well; today ! was a good day (=

so today was uniform day and it was blah ! i hate uniform days. but we had a half day so whatever. i changed 2nd period. then blah i went to 5th and then mark is like we have a meeting after school, you better have your uniform on ! and i was like ugh ! wtf; so i change right there, then i'm pulling my pants up and then mark was like wtf ! when did you change and alex looks at me & his face was like priceless! it was too funny. (=
i'm a geniussss

then whatever. rest of the school day. french is gay she wanted me to sit in the front and i was like -____________- ; i'll be iiiight ! lol ; ten geometry is too funny. whatever after school i had to go to that meeting, so whatever i go and after i go i was like alex, mark walk me home. and those fags ddidn't answer me. so then micah pops up outta nowwhere and shes like "i need someone to walk home with!" and i was like HEYYYY MICAHH! you can walk me. so we go outside, and then sangit is there and then im like ahhh crap; third wheel, again! one way or another, i always end up a third wheel. but whatever. they're funny. they didn't walk me all the way home, but it's all good. almost thereee. so i get home and it's like 12:20 -_________- mad early so i eat and then im talking to my mom. i get some new makeupp and i was happy. (= then my mom got bored and decded to do my makeup - hot mess. i felt bad i didn't wanna say it was ugly; but it kind of was. lol. but whatever. so then i start cleaning. & blah blah blah.

after all that boring stuff. andres came over ! ♥ he's changeddd soo muchh (; i misss him <3. he didn't stay for long, but it was cute. it was fun. he needss to come over moree ofter because he get;s nervousss. haha (= i ♥ him ! <3

then he left and i came back and never finished cleaning. blah blah blah i started talking to vanna because she was angry so whatever. then i saw kevinn for a little. & my mom went to gay backtoschool like a faggot. then now i'm homee! and my brother is being mad bored. lol.

well i have to start getting ready for dance. geez time went quick. fml; i didn't take a nap so i'm gonna be mad tired for dance, but it is what it is.

before i leave, i'm happy i'm done with you. i may not be over you, but i am definitely done. & yes, i am proud of myself. finally figured out i'm better off without you. (= i'm in such a good mood right now. today was ike perfect. ♥

kpceeee (=

I hate you

You're stupid. You make no sense. I hope you forget about everything & never remember.

NO ONE WANTS TO LET ME SLEEPPP. WTF !!!

Kpce

-_____-

Pointless asss day !

Kpcee. (:

I'm so stupid

Once opon a time there was a girl named nana. She was stupid. The end.


God I'm so dumb ! What is wrong with me ?! I don't know what to do with myself. I hate leading people on, but I'm not sure if I'm even doing it purposely. You mean so much more to me than a stupid relationship. I'm dumb imdumb I'm dumb. I never listen to my mind.

& then this stupid thing I found. That makes things somuch worse. For the first time in a very long time, I almost cried becauSE of you. Always. I'm sick & tired of wasting my time with you. Sick & tired. I can't do it anymore. I really can't. Every day feelings start fading. Knowing you don't care anymore they just keep fading. Man, your so stupid ! I hate you !!

Ugh I'm so pissed right now. Wtf ugh

Goodnight.

Couldn't sleep . . .

I had so much crap on my mind last night ! I don't understand !!

Last night was just weird. It didn't feel weird, it felt right. But now it's like OMG. But whatever !!!!

Goodbyeeeee

Fml.

I can't find my mom & I'm locked out of my house. -______-

Fml.

I can't find my mom & I'm locked out of my house. -______-

first day of dance. (:

I'm so tired ! Omg I'm so dumb. I'm gonna be like mad sore tomorrow morning. >:o !

But whatever, first full day of school & I already see that I'm not gonna be a happy person 0 period. -__-
Pero bueno, it is what it is.

I'm dying to go to sleep but my room is a hot mess ; & I'm starving ! & my mom keeps screaming at me.

Goodbye bloggers. Until tomorrow. ;D


Kpce !

Right before bed

School started and I kind of like it.


Well I have to get this off my chest. I can't wait through eerything & this might all be a mistake and blah but at this point I'm okay with it.

Dreaming up a happy ending tonight.


Kpcee<3

maybe its not my weekend, but it's going to be my year. ♥

So, originally my plan was to stop my blog for a while, but my bored ass. -_-

Lalalalallalala, yesterday feels like a fresh wound, still i insist it's just a flesh wound. That's been in my head for like EVER ! & remembering sunday was in my head like all day too.

This is going to be VERY shallow but omg, ugly people traumatize me ! i'm like scared like I don't understand. I mean I know I'm not the prettiest flower out in the garden but really ? omg. i'm scared. (=

this weekend was a pretty good weekend; i would tell you about it but i won't because you dont need to know my whole life =D

I LOVE ANDRES ! haha, he sucks at telling me what to write. -_- FAIL ! (=

i don't really know what to write except right now, i'm really happy and in need of a massage but other than that really happy (=

and according to andres, "I'm a G" =D haha


kpceee <3

I'm crying without tears. ♥

So, I was in a good mood until like right now. Nothing's really happened since my last post. I've pretty much been doing the same thing with my life; nothing. Play super nintendo & like watching tv. I'm kind of glad summers almost over but then at the same time, that means school. My schedule is alright, I'm just not sure about the people.

I feel like I'm not good enough anymore, for anyone. I'm a screw-up & there's nothing more to it. (btw; if you think I'm pathetic for posting, hint: don't read it. kthx.) But, back to what I was saying. I understand things don't go peoples ways most of the time but now it seems like no one wants to waste their time anymore. I guess I'm really not worth it anymore, pero bueno. It is what it is now & I can't change that.

Maybe I've been feeling down lately but I know if there's anyone who can make my day, it's myself. I'm the funniest person ever. I can just act retarded and I'm sure I will make my own day. Although it might not last long, at least I know I can count on myself. ♥

I'm not really trying to sound depressed, because really; I'm not. Here and there I'm not going to lie I can be down, but I can also be a really happy person but for now, I'm just trying to find my place.

Project Runway is on; I'm going to go watch it.

I'll be back whenever I feel like it.


Kpce. ♥

If I only had the heart. <3

1145 and I just woke up because bestfriend is coming over today.

So I got my wendys salad yesterday (:

I have a feeling I'm not going to be happy today. Last night wasn't really the best. Make me feel stupid much ? Like thanks, thanks for nothing. Ugh. My moms really getting me mad, wtf she mad loud like wtf stfu. Ugh. I'm getting mad.

If we were a movie

So today is pointless ! But it feels like the old days. Talking to bestfriend on the phone alll day (:

Haha I love him.

Now we're playing family feud with the tv. Hilarious. These peoplefail.

Anyway. I'll be back later if I do something.

Kpce. <3

So it's been such a long time. Things went from okay to horrible to amazing to okay to horrible.

It was quite a month. Colombia was so worth it. I didn't leave in the best conditions, by I wasn't going to let it affect me. I had my fun & more. It was one of the best times I've had this summer so far.

Got back home on the 6th and that weekend chilled with michael, gabe & giggles. Sunday was bestfriends birthday so that was fun. And then thAt was basicLly it.

Today. I went. To get icecream with jay ray & guava. I didn't take a showerrr. I stink. Lol why you TRASPASING!? Lmao, that was the highlight of my day. Got home & started feeling a little down. It's so frustrating. I don't know what to do anymore.

But I'm watching the notebook and I don't really know what to write. So I'll be back tomorrow & hopefully get back to my normal routine. (;

Kpce. <3

(:

I'm an idiot ! I Havent posted in such a long time for the simple factthat I don't Use my laptop anymore. I've been on my iPod whenever I need a computer. So I've tried to blog but I'm an idiot and didn't k ow how on this thing. I know now (:

Well it's been a while and things are like AH ! Since last time I blogged. Things have changed. Everythings almost back to last summer. All I've ever wanted <3

In a few hours. I'll be omw to Colombia :D
Going w/ bestfriend & mommy. I can't wait. But I'm stressed too. It's 545 & I still haven't packed. And I have to clean & see whatim going to wear and omg so much stuff. So ill blog when I can.


Kpce <3

I'm cool (=

whatever,

i give up.

thanks.

junee

YAY ! summmer's almost hereee (=

nothings really been going on. but i'm as happy as can be(=

schools almost over. i'm going to colombia and i have what i want. its all working out....

btw : don't think i forgot. because i haven't.


kpceee

don't make promises you can't keep <3

& as long as you keep that promise, i'll be happy <3

i loved today (=

i love how it feels to be around you. i love how much fun we have. i love how understanding you are.

it feels so much better to get that out. anywho !

watching a movie; so gooodnight <3 (=

horrible mood.

i don't know but sometimes i wish we could talk. ugh idk i hate my dreams they changee everything !

all i know is that i need to tell you the truth. i can't keep lying to you.

goodbyee <3

just don't forget it. we won't regret it <3

so this weekend has to be possibly one of the best ever. let's see friday - i stayed home, but jay and michael were here like all day. then he passes by. WOW. but whatever. anywho! then margie, kevin, johann, and kiki came too. they all left around 113O ish. i got inside at almost 12. it was so much fun <3
saturday ; woke up; michael came over for like half hour. ♥ then dts with bestfriend <3 it was cold - but man the cuties ! (; "if you that cold you can just ask for a hugg. . . NOT BY YOU !" LOL! hilarious.. got home, and i really can't remember what i did. lol i don't think i did anything.
sunday ; woke up. bestfriend michael came over. then other michael came over and we chilled. i was glad we did. it changes alot <3 went to banana king; came back sat in my backyard. then margie, jayden, alex, kevin, & johann came over. HILARIOUS. then i fell asleep and they wanted to throw a rock at me. then margie wanted to be like me, and fall asleep too. NO (= but idk; it was mad funny. then everyone left except both michael's. we went to the front of my house for a while. then bestfriend got picked up and michael stayed for a few. then he left and i got inside and its like 1145 ish almost 12. and i went to sleep. it was fun (=
then today ; woke up went to the mall with mami and dadddy. shoppped (= came home and picked jay up. got home. michael came over. we chilled outside for a little. then chilled inside. i did my homework and then we came to my room and i discovered there was a golf channel! lol. washed jays hair and i was going to straighten it but then she got picked up so i did like half of it. then she left. me and michael stayed outside for a while. talked to clara and keyla. little girl don't love me anymore. lol whatever then i didnt want to get in trouble so he left like at 9. :)<3 i got insideee and they be playing me ! stay making fun of me. but its all gooood <3

anywho. im going to sleeep im exhaustedd <3

goooodnighttt <3

new beginning.

I'm starting over starting today .

You want me out, I'm gone. & what I'm about to say is not meant for me to be an asshole. i said what i needed too ; and i'm sorry for the pain i've caused, but i promise i won't be causing anymore.


ANYWHO ! back to my NEW life.

yesterday was one of the best days i've had in such a long time. but i'll leave it at that <3

gooodbye (=

(=

i shoudn't be in a good mood ; but i am (=

shows how much of an asshole i am ; i'm sorry.

anywho ; it didn't mean for it to go this way - but it is what it is. i'm not stressing anymore.


gooobye (= <3

so.

things are awkward. i don't know anymore.
it's come to that point where you yourself are pushing me away.
no it's not the same ; and honestly i think it's because i'm tired of always kissing your ass because you're upset. & then if i get upset it's a freaking crime. god forbid get mad. but then again ; it's just "whatever" isn't it ? you don't understand how hard i've tried. but it's come to the point where i'm not the only one in it & i'm tired of trying to fix things on my own.

gooodnight.

x3

Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect her to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect her to calm you down when you're yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn't exactly match up with all your plans. But that's the thing. Love isn't a plan. It doesn't have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it.

Love happens; it is so incredibly messy. People around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you're in love. It's inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can't live without it. What you don't learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.

Love isn't her calming you down when you yell. It's her yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn't her/him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable.

It's after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet her showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It's not her saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it's not her caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be alright. It's her standing there, admitting she's just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved. You've unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said, here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you. As long as you have it.

It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't cross. Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It's about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it's a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling 'happy' and feeling whole.
- Andrew Landon

Wish you'd just understand. but until then, I promise I will fight. <3

ugh.

once again ; i did something.

ugh ; whatever - just ruins my mood.

sorry i can't keep you happy anymore.

listen when i say 'player please' <3

maybe bestfriend is right . . . but you know i can't let go. . .


it's like it's a crime for me to be in a mad mood. in case you didn't realize, i get pissy sometimes too. & when that time comes you could be a tad more understanding and at least try to make me smile.

goodnight.

='/

i hate just waiting for you to say something to me.

i hate you being mad at me, and me not knowing what to do.

i hate that i always cry and can't stop.

i hate that i can't do anything to make this better.

i hate that i don't even know anymore.

looks like another night with a wet pillliow.

pce.

ughhhhhhhhhh

if you seeek amy ;)


i wanna stay home and cry allllllll day. but i have dance. so it's gonna have to wait until 830.

so goodbye.

i'm sorry.

babe ; honestly i'm sorry.

like forreal - i don't want to lose you because of something this stupid. i know you're upset and i completely know why. and me of all people should've known you would get upset over something like this. guess i wasn't thinking. & i know you know about everything that happened, and i know you do. guess you would get mad because well i would too.

guess i always do something wrong.

i'm sorry =/

i hope you forgive me .


gonna go cry now. goodbye.

nevershoutnever!

i'm exhausted , but i had a monster & a reese's so BING !

BUT - monsters are bad for me ! so i'm not allowed to drink it anymore ! >.<

no matter what they do; i will stay true - only to you ♥

i got squishies ! lmaoo

my tummmy hurts & i have to clean and people don't like to answer me on aim.
*COUGH !
- ass jerk . =b

i wishh i could sit on my rooof =/
i haven't done that in so long - rawr !

i'm cold, but at the same time i'm hott. idk what to do ! lol

i have to clean - & im tireddd & i want my phone back ! WTF.

truthhh be toldd i misss youuuu <3

being with you, is so dysfunctional. i know i shouldn't miss you; but i can't let you go ♥

don't believe me - i'll proveee it . =b

lalallalalala - idk what to blogg aboutttt ! OH!

Hope is nowhere

read it and it's like depressing. if you have no hope; what's there to look forward too ? what will you be trying to accomplish ? what's the purpose of anything if you have no hope, no faith - nothing. Now that i think about it ; when i was younger & would go to dance - if we ever said "never" or "can't" as in we couldn't do it or anything - she made us to push ups. i can see why now - if you don't believe in yourself, who is going to believe in you ? all you truly have in the end is yourself - & if you're not there for yourself, or have no hope what's going to happen to you ? you're your only hope ♥

Hope is now here.

See how different one can interpret things. Hope is nowhere ; Hope is now here. Same thing ; just depends on how you choose to read it . Believe in yourself & i promise it'll pay back (= See why you can "nevershoutnever!" ? (=

WAYYYY off topic ; but i have to write this before i forget.

me : so i added michelle on myspace, she swear she cute !
tasha : who's michelle ? our black cousin ?
me : LOL !
tasha : omg that's what i've been telling you, her pictures ! have you seen her boyfriend ?
me : omg yes ; he's gross.
tasha : he looks like dominico; the guy from tila tequila.
me : LOL !

^ hilarious ; but i guess you really wouldn't get it unless you knew my cousin. xD

so today, 9th period - i was reading this like poem thing and i really liked it. but i can't find it - so i'm gonna have to wait for it >.< & then whatever - i saw my grade blah blah blah . and then these mexicans sitting next to me were doing their usual - tagging and crap. so this one guy comes up to me : kid : what does this look like to you ? (hands over paper) me : hmmm . . . a shoe . kid & friends : LOL ! wtf, where do you get a shoe from ?! me : idk - it looks like a shoe. someone else : it looks like a dog. me : NO ! it looks like a shoe ! kid's friends : it does kind of look like a dog, but a shoe ?! kid : its a person blowing a piece of bubble gum. everyone, but me : OH ! i see it now . me : nope; still looks like a shoe. kid : dude, what is wrong with your creativity/imagination. ^ i'm sad something's wrong with me. lmao same thing happened with this robot thing. i thought it was a laser xD i see things in a totally different perspective ! (= well whatever ! i'll be backkk laterr ! kpceee. nanayo.! (=

=/

bad moood ; i don't know anymore.

i was going through my photobucket, i was so tan =/


^ i miss it =/

today sucked and there's not much more too it. i'm not in control of anything anymore, and i hate it.

ugh !

i just realized, i only write in this if i'm really happy - or depressed
right now, i'm depressed.

i don't even want to go into details.

nothing ever goes my way.

whatever.

pce

dead & gone.

right now i'm painting my nails, and they look gross.

i'm in a pretty horrible mood. i don't know why.
something just does not feel right.
maybe i'm just over thinking things.

Call me a name;
Kill me with words;
Forget about me,
It's what I deserve
<|3

i hate days like this.

just take me away. ♥


gooooooodbye

but baby, anywhere is away for me ♥

POKEMON HEAD !

i'm on the phone with my best friend.
and no i don't miss you
and yes i can't stand you
and i'm glad you're going to pr and i'm not going to see you !

JKAY ! iloveyou bestfriend ! (= <3

drop the girl ! i'm jammin` !
what on demand does to my music ! lol, it's mad catchy. i woke up to that this morning, meaning that song's going to be in my head all day. lol (=

i'm getting a little tired of your broken promises promises looking at your pager seeing different numbers and numbers! lol what you know about that 3lw ?! lol i'm jammin` !


this time we're not giving up, let's make it last forever ; ♥

anywho ! even though this whole situation sucks; i really don't care. Like I mean I do care, but like we're dealing with it; and so far, it's okay. i mean it sucks - but i have a feeling, it's all going to be okay (=

anyways; i don't think you understand how happy you make me. even though you get mad at me for LITTLE things, you still make me happy, and i don't think you know how much. well, you make me happy. and i hope you really know that; and process it (=

honestly, I never thought i'd feel this way, & i'm not going to lie, i'm a little scared, but i'm glad it's all with you <3

anyway; i'm out !

kpce.

nanayo.! (= <3

what happened ?!

in a blink of a damn eye, everyone stopped caring.

crying myself to sleep.

gooobye.

I am restless, and I keep trembling ♥

Yo !

So, it's like gorgeous day outside, and guess what ?!

I'M STUCK INSIDE DOING A PROJECT ! oh joy !

but, at least im not alone. alex and ray are here, and we have like nothing done - because we're watching 1OOO ways to die (=

today was whatever. I'm happy, but I just don't understand. You say you want me to be happy, but when it comes to actually being happy, you like act the way you do. But, whatever ! I'm not gonna lie, i'm not in the greatest mood. but i'll live.


going to try and do this powerpoint.


kpce.

nanayo.! (=

not a million fights can make me hate you ♥

hi !
my name is joe !
i got a house !
3 kids and 1 spouse !

ahh, i need to shutup - i'm so tired.

& tomorrow is a fap day. GAY

i have a feeling i'm not going to make me happy. make my day ? (=


i'm too tired to write. i need to find time for this thing.

kpce.

nanayo.!

from what i've heard, with skin you'll win ♥

tired.
exhausted.
i stink.
i'm gonna shower.

but before i leave. I love my life <3

kpceee

nana yo.! (=

never let go ♥

"tell me that you love me, and it'll be alright.
are you thinking of me?
just come to me tonight.
i know i need you, just like you need me.
can't stop, won't stop. i must be dreaming ♥"

"i need to find my way back to the start.
when we were in love, things were better than they are.
let me back, into your arms ♥"

"love is a luxury - i'd rather be in love than dead ♥"

"i am on my own, but it's nice to see you come along.
it's nice to see you came along, and this might sound wrong,
but i can only tell you through a song.
and i will take my time, because it's the only thing on my side.
and this can't be real.
tell me, do you ever feel ?
i've been changing and you're still waiting on me.
please wait for me.
never let go ♥"

^ I love "The Maine" amazing band. (=

so, i was in biology today, looked at the time and it was 11:12. so i texted babe because, well i thought about him =b, and then for the rest of the day, we caught almost all of them. you know, before i used to hate catching the time at anything :12. i used to get so sad, but now, i was so happy you still remembered. it was just like aww ! idk, i thought you had forgot & maybe i was the only that didn't want to let go, but i guess not. <3

so this one ! decides to be like super late to class ! and he's just like outside my class, so i'm like mister can i go to the bathroom, and he's like ignoring me! i was like umm ! hellllooo?! and then i go, and he's like "i'm the latest" lol it was so funny, and then he complains that i have to get to class on time ! hypocrite =b
divaaa is a femaleee version on a hustler ! lol, sorry (= it just like came on tv. lmfao.
but anyways. then 6th period. my french teacher stalk me, she was like outside the door, and then i couldn't walk him to class - therefore he was probably super late !
aww ! tan cute ! lol. ah, too funnny (= but anywho, i get into my class, and teacher looking at me, like odee hard. like umm . don't speak go away.

then i had a bad end of the day, and then i didn't even like walk home and then i was sad, but then i got home & took a monster nap (= i was so happy. and then i woke up. did nothing. did some more nothingness, and now here i am ! lmao, dito i'm so bored its ew. & i'm tired too. i really do think i have a problem. i sleep too much. but no one cares ! BECAUSE. i do what i want ! (=

"so tonight, let's fade away.
forget it all for just one day.
tonight oh baby we'll fade away.
this is our time ♥"

i need to stop listening to these people ! but i love them (=
ew tomorrow's friday. and then the weekend. i hate weekends. it's always so freaking complicated and gay. i never get to do what i want, and when i do, i have to sneak it. grrr.
ayy ughh grrr rawrr ! (=



anywho. goooodbyeee <3

kpce.

nana yo.! ♥

early summer, it's playing on repeat ♥

i was born, to tell you iloveyou ♥ (=

So, that song has been in my head all day, and I am listening to it now. I get happy.

GUESS WHO'S IN A GOOOOD MOOOD ?!

-You win, ME ! lol.

so right now, it's 9:12, and apparently that's a good thing, right babe ? (=

today was such a good day. well, after school anyways. went to the park with jay, alex, and babe <3
it was fun, trying to make me jump off the swing. you must be stupid ! (= "you iiight ?!" lmao, why you so funny ?! ahh ! i love my lifee ! (= then he feeeed me & i get happy (= but then my heart was in my ass, was so terrified ! like you don't understand. like omg.

but that's not the point, i'm so happy right now ! goood day, i wish everyday could be like this. it doesn't even matter where we are, as long as i'm with you i'm happy <3

months going strong now, and no goodbye.
unconditional, unoriginal, always by my side.
meant to be together, meant for no one but each other.
*you love me, i love you harder ♥

^ I loveee hey monday ! that song has been in my head, for like EVER ! i write it everywhere !

well, back to my day. then i got home, then jay left. then me and alex started doing homework. & surprisingly, we got a lot done. a lot more than i actually expected. i'm so proud of myself (=

but anywho, we dropped off alex, and my dad started pissing me off ! i can't say anything ! he be rippin me for everything ! got home, & mami wanted me to dye her hair. so i decided to be nice and say sure. i did it, and we were talking & my mother is soo funny when she's not being annoying. we were laughing and disgusting hideous people, and we were "bonding" per say. lol

babe ! i just remembered. STOP BITING YOUR NAILS ! (=

anywho, i'm done for now.

kpce ♥

Nana yo.! <3

grr !

it's been a while. i've been slackin.

i'm exhausted and i'm trying to stay awake, but i don't think it's going to work.

anywho, i'll come back tomorrow to enlighten you about my days

kpce (=

nana yo ! (=

how you love me now ♥

SOD : how you love me now - hey monday <3

You were talking to her
But messing with me
It's finally clear
You're blurring the lines
Are you disturbed?
Oh, now you care
Why do you race through my red lights?

Can't understand
I'll slow it down for you

Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
Baby tell me how
How you love me now
Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
I hate when you say
How you love me now

Save
Save it for her
I'm not gonna hear
Your reasons and "please-just-take-me-backs"
We never were right
Don't waste your breath
You crashed and you're on your own tonight

Can't understand
I'll slow it down for you

Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
Baby tell me how
How you love me now
Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
I hate when you say
How you love me now

Lights out
I found out
My falling star
Goodbye
The sun rises here
There's no more you and I

How can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
Baby tell me how
How you love me now
Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
I hate when you say
How you love me now

i've waited so long.

i've waited so long for that . . . and now that i have it - i don't know what to do.

everything was finally starting to get better, and you do this to me ? you know how i am, and this ? i don't understand. i really don't. . .

over & over I tried; over & over I cried. <|3

Goodnight, and goodbye ♥

i'm not a princess, this isn't a fairytale <3

So, I haven't wrote since Sunday, and it's Wednesday. I really don't know why I haven't. Hadn't really had the time, or mind to write.

For the first time in a long time, I gave myself a good cry. To tell you the truth, I don't know if it was because of what I heard, or what. I guess it kind of had something to do with what i heard. I try to erase you, and you just come back some way or another. I still miss you <|3 - I'm just learning to deal with it, because I guess I have too. I have no choice anymore. I'm not going to walk around as if it's affecting me, because there's no point to that. Why walk around miserable, when i could be just as happy ? I don't know, if what I heard was/is true I don't know what's going to happen. I'll be happy if it does, but I don't think I'll have the strength to go through it again.

How is it, that I got called by the name of the person I dislike the most. WTF is that ?! I was kind of mad, but then I left to "pee" and got happy. I don't know why, but it made my day <3

& no, I don't mind talking to you at all ♥

"I'm not a princess. This isn't a fairytale. I'm not the one you sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell. This isn't Hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. . .

because I'm not your princess. This isn't a fairytale. I'm going to find someone someday who might actually treat me well. This is a big world, that was a small town, there in my rear view mirror disappearing now. & it's too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now. ♥ * i

Baby sitting for the rest of the week, so who knows when I'll be back.

Kpce ♥

-Nana

give us life again, 'cause we just want to be whole<3

Sunday and I'm in the worst mood ever. i don't know what it is, but it's days like this where i wish none of it would've happened. ever.

it's over, and they're just memories. but take you're memories, they don't mean much to me anymore <|3

i don't know what to do with my life anymore !

I have like nothing to write. So, I'm out.

kpce <3

stars * <|3

i saw that stupid star today. just wish i wouldn't have.

haven't blogged in like two days. actually i've been pretty busy - for once.

so i though about it, and i don't think i can go on with it. for one, i am not completely over you, and i won't lie about it. two, i don't want to give you false hopes - more than i already have. you're super nice to me, and maybe that's not exactly what i want. i don't know - false hopes are not cool, and of all people - i would never want to do that to you. you don't deserve it, and you definitely don't deserve the way i've been treating you. for that, i am truly sorry <3*

when you see my face hope it gives you hell ♥

nothing else to blog about - i'll be back when i have something interesting to write <3

kpce

(=

i got my cup noodles and my water, and i'm good to go (=

highlight of my day : my mom pants me . LMFAO ! i'm walking to my room and i pulled her hair. then she pants me ! lmao, she played me.

So family guy is the funnies show ever ! omg, i'm like cracking up !

leona lewis' "i will be" has been in my head alll day <3

random thought - i feel like a hoe. i'm wearing a mean ass white tank top, and you can see my bra like perfectly xD i'm such a hoe (=


how can people be so childish ?! i mean, i'm out of your life already, no need to go the extra damn mile. aren't you supposed to be the "man" the older one ?! the one that knows what to do ?! what you did was soo immature, like it was ridiculous . i'm already out of your life, and as you can see, i am NOT stalking you. if i was stalking you, don't you think you would've noticed already. if you haven't noticed, i'm doing fine without you. actually i'm doing better than fine, now that i'm out of you're life, everything is working out. there was no need for you to do that. that was honestly the most childish thing you've done, other than getting upset for me confronting you. ugh, you piss me off soo much, i don't even know anymore. whatever, i had to vent. i still don't understand how someone can do something so damn childish, but i guess that's just the type of person you are and will always be. and I honestly, don't need that. ♥

if you're so pissed at the world, why show it ? just makes you look like a dumbass, and i know from experience. i understand people get angry, but like sometimes, they like express it to a point, where it's like wtf - you act like only bad things happen to you. there has to be something good. either way, you can't show you're angry or hurt. makes you seem weak, and seeming weak is a sign people might step all over you. regardless, you can't let people see you're weak side as if it's the only side you have. feeel me ? sometimes lying to yourself and hiding it, can actually help believe it or not. after so long of pretending to be happy, of fake smiles and fake laughs. eventually in one way or another, they start becoming real. also if other people believe you're happy, you'll soon begin to believe it too. believing yourself is the first step to complete and uttermost happiness. <3

i'm out for the night ♥

kpce

it will all eventually turn to just memories <3

* You let go and I'll let go too
'Cause no one's hurt me more than you
And no one ever will

snow day. yipeee -_-
what i'd do today ? nothing ! like every other snow day !

So, i've been like addicted to jesse maccartney for the day -_- what a dork, lol.

* i don't want another pretty face, i don't want just anyone to hold. i don't want my love to go to waste, i want you and your beautiful soul. you're the one i want to chase. you're the one i want to hold. i won't let another minute go to waste. i want you and you're beautiful soul ♥

it's so addicting, it's annoying, -_-

ugh ! i'm so mad. i had the perfect thing to blog about, but now i can't remember . . .

2O min later . . .

this wasn't what i was going to blog about, but it will have to do. . .

so have you ever had somene who is crazy over you ? and you want to like them, you really do - but it just doesn't happen ? like you're so hurt from past experiences, and you think you'd never be able to like/love again just because someone came and with a stupid smile, and stupid lies won you over then screwed you over ? so the person that's crazy over you, you know his past, and maybe he's not the person you were hoping for but he's always been there for you. even while you were hurting. even while all you could do is think about that person that broke your heart. him just there holding you, being there for you, just wishing it was him you were thinking about . it sucks, just because if you liked him it'd be perfect. and you think to yourself, maybe it will happen over time. time passes, days months weeks. . . and you try, but nothing happens. so you think maybe if you give it a chance, sparks will turn into flame. but nothing, so what do you do ? maybe it's just not meant to be. maybe he'd treat you the way you've always wanted to be treated. maybe he does anything for you. maybe he'd do anything to be your everything, but he's just not. so what's better ? lying and getting what you want. or telling the truth and hurt someone who's always been there for you ? none of it seems right, you just wish you can return the feelings, since it's the least you can do. either way you won't be completely happy, so now what ? ♥

you might need time, to think it over. but i'm just fine - moving forward ♥

kpce

longest/shortest weekend ever !

if that made ANY sense. i've been awake basically this whole weekend - and i ALWAYS sleep on weekends. it's so depressing. i'm odee tired and have ALOT of homework and studying to do. oh wells ! longest/shortest weekend - went by MAD fast, felt like i did a lot.

saturday - i was running around the school for drill team meet. we pop champagne OHHH ! lmfao, ah, good times ! too funny. well was there for long ass time ! was mad tired when i got home, took like 6 naps before i actually fell asleep. lmao, it was funny. and today went to youth fest. it really wasn't that bad. met the funniest nuns EVER ! like you'd think they'd be mad awkward and start praying, but they had me crying ! it was soo funny xD

it's been about a year now, ain't seen or heard from you, I've been missing you crazy - how do you sleep ? ♥

so, i'm sad =/
i promised myself i wasn't going to think about you, and i was doing a pretty good job, but i slipped today =/
ever realized people will do whatever just to hear a simple "iloveyou" ? it's crazy, all people ever want is love, and they'll do anything just to hear it. they're just three simple words. instead of just saying it, show it. Love can save us all ♥
Stop looking for the same kind of people. After being hurt so many times, you'd think we learn to stay away from those kind of people, but if you think back - everyone has the same characteristics. why is that ? it's because we feel safe, we feel this is where we belong - when in reality, we need change. change is hard, but necessary. we have to set what qualities we want, and just find them.

whatever ! i'm tired. goodnight <3

bruta ciega sordomuda

bruta, ciega, sordomuda,
torpe, traste, testaruda,
es todo lo que he sido
por ti me he convertido
en una cosa que no hace
otra cosa más que amarte
pienso en ti día y noche
y no se como olvidarte

^ LMFAO ! shakira is SOO my idol ♥

she be rippin !

ojerosa, flaca, fea, desgreñada,
torpe, tonta, lenta, necia, desquiciada,
completamente descontrolada
tu te das cuenta y no me dices nada
ves que se me há vuelto
la cabeza un nido
donde solamente tu tienes asilo
y no me escuchas lo que te digo
mira bien lo que vas a hacer conmigo

^ LMFAO ! i can't say that part. tooo fast !

so from now on, whenever i'm pissed i'm going to call michael and listen to this song together. i think it'd make my day <3

i'm going to do some homework. i'll be back later<3

SHF;AIYSIOFJS;DIOFASDF

why .
wtf .

my mood has been ruined.

AH ! can my day get ANY better ?! i'm having the time of my life. that's two days in a row, i think i finally did it. (=

after all you've put me through, you'd think i'd despise you, but in the end i want to thank you, because you've made me that much stronger <3

*i'm over you now, i'm at home in the clouds ♥
( hopefully, this is it - and it stays like this )

michael is such a FAGGOT friend ! LMFAO, michael i kidd, i loveeee you!

sike nah, forreal forreal, i don't know what i'd do without you. you've been there since day one, from stupid mistakes to the best times ever. if it weren't for you, i'd only have like ONE friend. oh man, i don't even know what i'd do if i stopped talking to you. i can imagine it. me doing something SOOOOOO stupid to piss you off, and one day it's going to get back at me, and you're going to stop talking to me, and i'd be SOO depressed. more depressed then with this kid, and that was bad! xD but anyway back to the point. you're going to be my bestfriend forever ! and idontcare what you say. i feel bad, you're stuck with me. (=< with you as my bestfriend ima feel like a faliure, you'll probably be married and with a bangin job while i'm still like living home. lmfao ! so you motivatee mee ! (= whatever i'm done. i love you michaell ! ♥♥♥♥♥

LMFAO ! So i saw the rat today for the first time. man she's ugly, that is a disgrace - i laugh xD she made my day. LOL hooooooodrat ! (=

ah, i'm feeling goood right now ! so i'll go do something now !

kpce <3

-Nana ♥

there's nothing i can ever say to make you see what you mean to me <3

* i know i let you down - i'm sorry ♥

So i can add today to the list of "worst days ever" I was miserable ! ugh, and it's so annoying because everyone noticed. i was fine in the morning, actually i was perfect - but then like always it got ruined. and people are so stupid. people know i'm not in the damn mood yet, they just act like more jerks as if that's so supposed to make me feel better. yet when they're all upset, i'm supposed to kiss their ass. get outta here.

so i hate how you swear you need 'em, yet you get with other people and are happier than ever. what is wrong with you ?! i think i'm giving up on people. period.

i hate how i was fine, perfect actually - one look and i forget everything and wish none of it happened. i'm regretting it now, but then again if i didn't do it i would regret it too. guess it's just going to take sometime to get used to =/ * because we're not going to work this out tonight ♥

the crazy thing, i can't imagine life without you, which is stupid because i was doing just fine before you came along. whatever - i'm being stupid, it's not the end of the damn world - i've been fine before you, and guess what i'll be fine without you now. i'm not going to lie, it still hurts, but let me tell you - i'll be over you soon. and once i do, you're going to regret it all, and there's no coming back for me. but then again, why would someone like you want to be with someone like me. either way - i'm done.

my tummy hurt, and i have dance in like 2O minutes. i really don't want to go, i feel horrible - but after i dance, i usually feel soo good. watch today i feel like crap, everything's going opposite, but i'm not going to complain. i need to find something else to write for the next 15 minutes. lol

i want to listen to "seventeen forever" dude, that song has been in my head for sooo long now, it's stupid. OMG, i got it !

i don't want to put your name, because i'm not big on putting people on blast, but like seriously, you know me better then to think i'd get mad over that. plus, what got me mad was you not telling me anything as if i didn't find out everything. so if you would've just told me, all of this could've been avoiding. of course it's not going to be the same now, not because you're with him; if he makes you happy, i'm cool with it - but because you decided not to tell me, weren't we supposed to be like close friends ? What i'm trying to say is stop hiding things from your friends, even if they take forever to find out, they still will and when that happens, it's going to be worse for you. at least if you tell them, they might get mad but eventually they'll get over it. if you try to hide it from them, that's just - horrible.

Well, it's 5:45 and i still have 1O minutes, but i'm king of running out of crap to write about.

* we're one mistake from being together, but let's not ask why it's not right. you won't be seventeen forever, and we can get away with this tonight ♥

Kpce

-Nana
* will you remember me ? ♥

I'm ready to be the girl i used to be
The one who never cried.
The one who never got mad over dumb things.
& the one girl who would never worry about being in love. ♥

forget it (=

so last post said homework - i gave up and it's 1O:42 xD

so i feel so good right now, i finally found the courage to stand up for myself and for what i deserve. didn't go the way i planned it, but still. it feels like so much pressure off of me, i should've done it forever ago ! so, obviously he doesn't care - and he finally proved it to me, what a relief ! matter fact, that's all i ever wanted - i jst wanted to know for sure that he doesn't care and i finally know now. hope he's happy with that hoodrat (=
*from someone like me, to a hoe like her - that's how they all are.

so why do people who are soo deserving always get what they LEAST deserve. most people i know deserve so much more than what they have, i mean there are always going to be those assholes who in the end turn out really amazing, but then there are those assholes who treat you like crap, jst because. just because they know they can and you'll forgive them. in this sense, most people are stupid and they have to forget what they want, and remember what they deserve. people who deserve NOTHING, get everything - always. what kind of bull is that ?! it's called life - deal with it. we're brought to this life because we're strong enough to live it - so just do it. stop complaining about how much it sucks, because i guarantee you there's someone out there who has it 1Ox worse. so basically what i'm trying to say is, don't disrespect yourself by accepting less than you deserve, but don't expect more than you deserve either.

i'm done for now.

forget what you want and remember what you deserve ; you're your only hope <3

kpce ♥

-Nana <3

rawr ! (=

i'm feeling goooood right now (=

i think i've reached the end of my depression and it feels AHMAZING<3

so i'd tell you about it bt it's 1O:4O and i have TONS of homework

so i'll write later

kpcee ♥

-Nana <33

every word i say is true, this i promise you <3

* my "u" is being super retarded, so excuse the typos.

anywho. valentines day. whooopieeee -_-

i went to the indoor, competition today. it was okay - i was happy though, so who cares. so when you're gonna tell me you're going to hit me up when you leave - do it, or don't tell me you're going to hit me up. that's three nights in a row - i'm starting to get angry. -_-

so, jay's sleeping over, but she's on the phone - while i'm just sitting doing nothing. UGH

"i pray for this heart to be unbroken, but without you all i'm going to be is - incomplete <3"

i giveeeeee uupppp !

kpce.

-_-

i officially hate everything/everyone.

gooooodbyee

Michael.

Michael is my best friend forevahhh !

iloveyou ♥

Sing me to sleep - I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say "I miss you" <3

So, I've been pretty pissy lately, so I haven't written anything.

So, nothing's really happened. . . Nothing really worth telling - except tuesday, after dance - my foot hurt. Then wednesday morning, i woke up and i cried. like literally cried because it hurt soo bad ! so of course i didn't go to school. was home - slept till like 1 (= ahh. great. then today i go to school, dude - i wanted to die. i was mad crippled in school, and everyone i walked with was walking to fast ! i was like mad late to english and he didn't believe me ! but then i was crippled so blah blah blah. then we had pt. i LOVE p, but my crippled ass ! so i did what i could, and when i couldn't i had to hold the rifle up - blah soo easy. then i did 30 situps mad easily! i was soo happy (= because i didn't even know i could do situps. so i was like wtf ?! - YAY !

ah, i'm hungry - and my foot hurts. i wanna cry.

( MARK MAD HE CAN'T LOGIN! =b )

So i was thinking, i used to be so close to my family, what happened ? Sometimes i just feel i don't belong. once again i'm the outcast - i'm never doing anything right.
WHATEVER ! something should get better sooner or later.

So i've been listening to all time low and hey monday lately. i love them ! <3 (=

whatever. i'm out - need to go to homework, that i'm probably not gonna do (=

Kpce <3

-Nana ♥

it's cold !

so it's been a few days and let's see. . . sunday - wtf did i do sunday ?! man, oh! i went to the mall, then margies house. ah, whatever . talked to this kid - blah ! whatever that was my sunday.

today - i knew it was going to be a good day. well not good day, but it was good. i don't know how to explain - it was bad, and i was pissy but one event just made my whole day even though it didn't. i don't know AH ! i confused. anywho - i really need to do homework so i go now.

kpce <3

-Nana

I HATE weekends.

I'm miserable !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UGHHHHHHHH I HATE WEEEKENDS. I HATE MY LIFE. I HATE EVERYTHING !

i'm depressed. very depressed. everything is falling apart. i hate my life. UGH

so once again, i'm stuck home on a saturday because i havent done my homework - but wtf, why are they complaining i'm passing everyclass with a b or higher so there is no reason to have titty attacks.

then i talk to this fag and he gets all pissy at me. and now everything and everyone is mad at me


GOOOOODBYEEE . I HATE MY LIFE !

kpce.

don't get up, i'll get through on my own <3

I feel way better today then I did yesterday. it was kind of hard though. I always hope for this kind of day, but when I get i'm always shocked. I really don't know why, I shouldn't allow it - but it makes me happy (=

whatever - school was okay today - even after all the inturruptions. I was glad for them (= after school went to eyebrow place walked home blah blah blah. came home I was tired tried to fall asleep - couldn't. michael called - talked for a while and now its 7:O8 and I have nothing to do.

I wish I could actually tell this thing about my day, but I can't without going into details. and telling people details is not good because then crap spreads - so I can't really say much about what happened today.

it's really cold - and i'9 hungry. I should go on the computer, but I don't wanna get the laptop - i'm too cold to move. i'm probably gonna go text someone.

Kpce <3

-Nana

I believe everything happens for a reason. . .

People change so that you can learn to let go Things go wrong so that you can learn to appreciate them when they're right
You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself
& Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together

^ BULL !

I was on photobucket, my bored ass - whatever just looking, and I come to this. I though about it for a while - and at first I was like, is this supposed to cheer me up ? Am I supposed to believe this too ? So I was like wtf, whatever. So, I kept thinking about it - and I realized, maybe it's right. . . Maybe he changed so I would finally learn to let go, maybe it all went wrong so when something happens to me, and it goes right - I'll appreciate the good things. & Maybe I believed all the lies and everything else, so I'd learn nobody will ever be there - no matter how great of a friend they are. I've learned even the closest will hurt you, one way or another, you just have to choose which are worth hurting for. & Maybe, just maybe - this happened and things fell apart so something new could come along, and be better. - I'm still not happy, but someday, somehow - I will be. <3

Anywho - I'm very depressed today. & that stupid phone call didn't make anything better =/

I don't understand, you keep coming back. Please decided - it hurts too much. Sometimes I swear I can feel everything inside me crushing - with one phone call, one text, one look - I'm all over the place. Can you please make up your mind - am I in, or out of your life ? Please, just let me know. What I'd give to forget it all, and make it all stop <|3

It's funny, as much as I know I should just walk away from it all, I won't. I know I can, if I really tried, but I won't. Why do I have to be so stubborn ? I'm only left with "used to bes" and "once upon a song"

Why did I let myself believe that miracles could happen ? Because now I have to pretend that I don't really care.



Kpce ♥

-Nana

I hate my life i hate my life i hate my life ! -_-

So, snow day. hooray -_-

So last night was possibly the worst night ever !

I was so tired - like I just wanted to sleep for days, but when I was finally going to sleep, I couldn't -_- WTF. So when I finally slept, I woke up because of nightmares. I HATE HIM ! ='/ Ugh, I need to get a grip I can't let him take control of me without even doing. I need to set this all straight.

I HATE MY LIFE !

One phone call - and I'm done <|3

I'm out - I'm probably going to go cry.



Kpce ♥

-Nana

What a day.

So, I just got home from possibly the most exhausting day ever !

So, here's my day - woke up got ready, went to school. School was whatever - of course stressing because my dumbass never does what she's supposed to, but anywho - nothing really interesting happened in school. Regular GAY day.

After school, I was going to chill, but I was soo tired - I came straight home and, BOOM! niiight niiight ! (= Then I had dance at 5:3O and I wake up like at 5:1O and that's late because I have to get ready, so I rushed, but I was on time. Blah dance was EXHAUSTING ! Let me tell you, rerunning the whole damn dance from the top like 4803571394872342 times get's really tiring. And I was sore to begin with. Dude, I am not waking up as a happy camper tomorrow morning -_-

So I get home, and guess what I have to do ? A FREAKING POWERPOINT -_-
Do you know how much I hate them ?! I wanna die. But then again, I'm happy I have today, since it was due today anyway. So, I have an extra day (= I WIN !

LOL! so while on my way to dance, Por Un Segundo was playing, and I am jammin` like let me tell you - and my father was like WTF since when do you listen to this pato music. I was cracking up !

But anyway, I'll probably be back later for some more procrastination (=

Kpce ♥

-Nana <3

Mark Anthony Colon - I think you just made my day. iloveyou ♥

MARK !

since mark says my blogs are depressing i'm going to make a happy one just for him

MARK ANTHONY COLON - I LOVE YOU FOREVER <3

anywho, Mark, wtf am i supposed to write ?! do i look like a happy person to you ?! i should sing to you, it'll make you happy!

THIS IS WHAT DREAMMMMSSSS ARE MADE OF !!! (=

mark, i give up, idk how to make a happpy blog, iloveyou <3

Kpce ♥

-Nana

Girls are so stupid !

so, i have to vent. girls are soo stupid ! god. i'm an idiot - all guys should just die.

kay i feel better ! i'll be back when something interesting happens <3

kpceee ♥

-Nana

so, it's been a while. . .

it's been a few days. miraculously, I didn't forget about this thing. so i'm just going to write. whatever pops in my head.

anywho - you know what's frustrating ?
when you know what you want - but he doesn't. I don't understand, i'm trying not to let it get the best of me, but honestly sometimes its the hardest thing ever. i'm trying to be strong, trying so hard - but he keeps coming back. i'd be just fine if he'd just stay away. but then at the same time i'm happy he keeps coming back. he makes it so hard though, it's not easy, but hopefully it's all worth it in the end. enough about that, it depresses me.

so, it's freaking COLD ! i'm always cold, but now it's like OMG ! it needs to be summer like NOW. I need it to be july 5th so I can just go to colombia ! I need to get out and have a vacation. this weather depresses me.

I wanna dye my hair again. the black is like fading - and its like brownish - I was BLACK so I can be fiercee ! xD

so I have confirmation class today at 3 -_- it's not that I mind going, its just that we don't do much & it's annoying. I WANT A MAKEOVER ! lol, i'm watching americas next top model and they're on the makeover episode, so yeah. lmao.

anywho ! so song stuck in my head ? mad by neyo. dumbtrick got an addicting ass song ! and por un segundo - I freaking LOVE that song.

"por un segundo enfrento mi duelo ya no estas con migo <3"

i'm out - gonna go get ready . i'll be back sooner or later

kpce <3

-nana

First day .

So I decided to start this blog ishh. Seemed pretty cool, so I thought, hey why not ? I'll probably forget about it in a day or two anyways (=

So where do I start ? I have plenty to write - my life is a bigger mess that it has ever been. Well, I'll start happy. I got my guitar last night. I love it - it's so pretty <3 style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"You bruised my heart
Nothing's broken it's just done
of having careless complications,
teaching itself to become numb
It's afraid to feel
'Cause what it once thought was real
Was a false note prettied w/designs.
They were all just white lies."

I love them ! Or this one -

"So live your life and do what you got to.
It's only at night when I really miss you.
But the morning comes -
bringing a new day and everything seems to start over again."

That one is better (= It just fits, so perfectly ! I don't know - I just relate so much to it. I think I could live off quotes - which is depressing. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I'm annoyed/happy/mad/excited/& miserable. Jesus! I need to do something. Well, I'm out - probably go eat.

Song stuck in my head ? There's a few - "Get Back" - Demi Lovato ; "Walk Away" - Paula Deanda ; "It's Not Over" - Secondhand Serenade <3

kpce <3





- Nana <3